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Subtitles for Lefty (1964)

English
July 28 2021 03:01:06
Created by George H. Hanna, Isabel Florence Hapgood, Niffiwan, Bornik₂, Eus₂, Pepi₃
Levsha.1964.en.1.25fps.1627441266.srt ⭳
Quality: good

Original subtitles made by Eus and Pepi in 2018 using the translation by George H. Hanna (1958), and Bornik's Russian subtitles. The songs are mistranslated.

Substantially revised by Niffiwan in 2021. The translations of the songs had been almost completely wrong (caused by Bornik's transcription of all of them being 75% wrong in the 2018 Russian subs). This new version is based on both the 1958 translation and (more often) the 1890 translation, which tends to be closer to the original text, as well as original translation by Niffiwan. More of the interesting wordplay present in the original text has been included, when realistic. For example, instead of "North Sea", Leskov uses "Твёрдоземное море", which the literary translators interpret as "Hard Sea" or "Dryland Sea". But, the original is a play on "Средиземное море", which in English is the "Mediterranean Sea" - since the English name uses Latin roots, the sea in the story must do so as well, so it is here translated as "Duroterranean Sea". As another example, "microscopes" are instead called "tinyscopes" throughout.

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1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:05,960 SOYUZMULTFILM Puppetfilm association 1964 2 00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:08,440 1763 Polzunov's steam engine 3 00:00:08,480 --> 00:00:10,560 1776 Kulibin's wooden one-arched bridge 4 00:00:10,640 --> 00:00:12,160 1801 Artamonov's bicycle 5 00:00:12,280 --> 00:00:13,880 1833 Cherepanov locomotive 6 00:00:14,000 --> 00:00:16,000 1878 A.F. Mozhayskiy's flying machine 7 00:00:16,080 --> 00:00:17,600 1881 Kibalchich's aeronautic device 8 00:00:17,720 --> 00:00:22,800 This film is dedicated to the wonderful Russian craftsmen of the past, present and future. 9 00:00:22,880 --> 00:00:25,760 LEFTY after the story by N.S. Leskov 10 00:00:26,680 --> 00:00:31,640 The tale of how Tula craftsmen shoed an English steel flea 11 00:00:32,360 --> 00:00:35,920 Scenario and Direction IVAN IVANOV-VANO 12 00:00:36,120 --> 00:00:39,840 Director: Vladimir Danilevich Composer: Aleksandr Aleksandrov 13 00:00:40,320 --> 00:00:43,720 Art directors: Marina Sokolova, Arkadiy Tyurin, Anatoliy Kuritsyn 14 00:00:43,840 --> 00:00:47,600 Camera: Iosif Golomb Sound: Boris Filchikov 15 00:00:47,920 --> 00:00:50,440 Animators: Yuriy Norshteyn, Galina Zolotovskaya, 16 00:00:50,480 --> 00:00:53,000 Lev Zhdanov, Kirill Malyantovich, Mihail Botov 17 00:00:53,080 --> 00:00:56,520 Background artists: T. Zuykova, G. Nevzorova, Aleksandr Gorbachyov, 18 00:00:56,560 --> 00:01:00,000 Vladimir Sobolev, Vladimir Alisov, V. Rodzhero, A. Volkov 19 00:01:00,240 --> 00:01:02,800 Puppets and decor: V. Cherkinskaya, Liliana Lyutinskaya, 20 00:01:02,840 --> 00:01:05,480 Svetlana Znamenskaya, Oleg Masainov, N. Budylova, 21 00:01:05,520 --> 00:01:08,160 Yu. Benkevich, M. Spasskaya, Vladimir Abakumov 22 00:01:08,240 --> 00:01:12,080 Script editor: Natalya Abramova Montage: N. Mayorova 23 00:01:12,160 --> 00:01:15,240 State Cinematographic Symphony Orchestra Conductor: G. Gamburg 24 00:01:15,280 --> 00:01:17,560 Narrator: D. Zhuravlyov 25 00:01:17,640 --> 00:01:20,320 Production director: Natan Bitman 26 00:01:39,480 --> 00:01:42,000 [Paris City, 1815] 27 00:01:45,760 --> 00:01:49,320 When the Emperor Aleksandr Pavlovich 28 00:01:49,440 --> 00:01:54,360 ended the military campaign of 1812, 29 00:01:54,640 --> 00:01:59,760 he got the idea of travelling about Europe, 30 00:02:00,000 --> 00:02:05,160 to see what marvels could be seen in the various realms. 31 00:02:12,960 --> 00:02:15,400 He journeyed through all lands, and 32 00:02:15,520 --> 00:02:18,160 everywhere, by reason of his amiability, [Dresden City] 33 00:02:18,240 --> 00:02:21,440 had heart-to-heart talks with all sorts of people... [Vienna City] 34 00:02:21,560 --> 00:02:24,200 And everyone surprised him with something [Leipzig City] 35 00:02:24,320 --> 00:02:27,560 and sought to incline him to their side, [Amsterdam City] 36 00:02:27,800 --> 00:02:31,440 but he had with him a Don Cossack named Platov 37 00:02:31,560 --> 00:02:34,440 who did not like this inclination; 38 00:02:35,800 --> 00:02:37,800 And if Platov should notice 39 00:02:37,920 --> 00:02:40,560 that the Sovereign was interested in something foreign, [London, 1816] 40 00:02:40,720 --> 00:02:42,040 he would go up to him and say, 41 00:02:42,080 --> 00:02:46,240 "That's all right, of course, but ours at home are just as good." 42 00:02:47,440 --> 00:02:50,880 But then the English invited the Sovereign 43 00:02:51,040 --> 00:02:53,560 to their arsenals, 44 00:02:53,680 --> 00:02:56,760 armories, shops, soapworks and everywhere else 45 00:02:56,880 --> 00:03:00,760 in order to demonstrate their superiority over us in all things 46 00:03:00,840 --> 00:03:02,320 and boast of it. 47 00:03:56,920 --> 00:03:59,120 [English Cabinet of Curiosities] 48 00:04:02,520 --> 00:04:05,480 They arrived at a huge building 49 00:04:06,000 --> 00:04:08,280 with an indescribable entrance, 50 00:04:08,400 --> 00:04:10,840 corridors without end, 51 00:04:10,960 --> 00:04:13,840 rooms one after another, 52 00:04:33,880 --> 00:04:37,240 "A-ah-ah-ah..." 53 00:04:37,680 --> 00:04:41,480 The Sovereign was very pleased with all this: "Ah - ah - ah! 54 00:04:41,880 --> 00:04:43,120 Ah - ah - ah!" 55 00:04:43,600 --> 00:04:46,520 But Platov strode along with downcast eyes 56 00:04:46,600 --> 00:04:48,280 as though he beheld nothing 57 00:04:48,320 --> 00:04:51,000 and merely twisted his whiskers into rings. 58 00:05:13,320 --> 00:05:15,680 They came to the main hall. 59 00:05:15,760 --> 00:05:19,800 The English immediately began to show them all sorts of marvels 60 00:05:19,840 --> 00:05:22,440 and explain to what ends they were adapted 61 00:05:22,480 --> 00:05:24,560 in military matters. 62 00:05:24,800 --> 00:05:28,120 All this delighted the Sovereign greatly: "Ah - ah - ah!" 63 00:05:28,240 --> 00:05:31,280 everything seemed to him very good: "Ah - ah - ah!" 64 00:05:31,360 --> 00:05:33,760 but Platov preserved his apathy, 65 00:05:33,880 --> 00:05:36,960 as if nothing of this meant anything to him. 66 00:05:37,480 --> 00:05:40,000 The Sovereign said: "How is this possible?" 67 00:05:40,080 --> 00:05:42,240 "Why is there such unfeelingness in you?" 68 00:05:42,320 --> 00:05:45,280 "Is there really nothing here that astonishes you?" 69 00:05:45,360 --> 00:05:47,080 And Platov replied: 70 00:05:47,120 --> 00:05:49,720 "Only one thing here astonishes me: 71 00:05:49,760 --> 00:05:54,080 that my dashing lads of the Don made war without all this 72 00:05:54,200 --> 00:05:57,120 and drove twelve nations out of our country." 73 00:05:59,600 --> 00:06:03,320 The Sovereign said: "That's all prejudice." 74 00:06:04,400 --> 00:06:09,400 But the Englishmen, noticing the dissension between them, 75 00:06:09,520 --> 00:06:14,680 took them straight to the statue of Apollo Belvedere. 76 00:06:15,840 --> 00:06:18,720 "This pistol", the Englishmen said, 77 00:06:18,840 --> 00:06:22,080 "is of unknown, inimitable workmanship - 78 00:06:22,160 --> 00:06:28,160 one of our admirals snatched it from the belt of a pirate captain at Calabria." 79 00:06:28,400 --> 00:06:32,080 "Ah, ah, ah!" gasped the Sovereign in amazement, "How can this be? 80 00:06:32,320 --> 00:06:35,480 How is it even possible to work so delicately? 81 00:06:35,600 --> 00:06:39,160 If I had just one such craftsman in Russia 82 00:06:39,280 --> 00:06:42,480 I should be very happy and proud 83 00:06:42,600 --> 00:06:46,720 and I would instantly make that man a noble." 84 00:06:46,800 --> 00:06:50,480 The English protested: "It can't be taken apart!" 85 00:06:50,560 --> 00:06:54,240 "Oh, we'll manage" replied Platov. 86 00:06:54,320 --> 00:06:56,080 [Made by Ivan Moskvin, Tula] 87 00:06:56,120 --> 00:06:59,440 The Sovereign said sadly to Platov: "Ah, ah, ah! 88 00:06:59,560 --> 00:07:04,760 Why did you have to upset them; I'm so sorry for them now." 89 00:07:05,640 --> 00:07:08,280 "Oho, have we blundered!" 90 00:07:10,240 --> 00:07:12,080 Then they said to the Sovereign: 91 00:07:12,200 --> 00:07:16,440 "Now we will present you with a true technical marvel". 92 00:07:16,560 --> 00:07:20,480 The Sovereign asked: "What does this mean?" 93 00:07:20,640 --> 00:07:25,240 "Can you, please", said the English master artisan, "see that speck?" 94 00:07:25,280 --> 00:07:28,400 "What do I want a speck of dust for?" asked the Sovereign. 95 00:07:28,480 --> 00:07:31,840 "But this," answered the English master "is not a speck, 96 00:07:31,920 --> 00:07:33,840 but an <i>infusorium</i>." 97 00:07:33,960 --> 00:07:36,400 "Is it alive?" the Sovereign then asked. 98 00:07:36,520 --> 00:07:40,080 "Oh no," answered the English master, "it's not alive. 99 00:07:40,200 --> 00:07:42,520 But it has been forged out of pure English steel 100 00:07:42,640 --> 00:07:45,160 in the image of a flea, by ourselves, 101 00:07:45,360 --> 00:07:48,280 and in the middle of it are works and a spring. 102 00:07:48,400 --> 00:07:50,520 Be kind enough to turn the key 103 00:07:50,640 --> 00:07:54,160 and it'll do a dance." 104 00:07:54,280 --> 00:07:57,680 "Ah - ah - ah!" said the Sovereign curiously. 105 00:07:57,800 --> 00:08:00,640 "Kindly look in the tinyscope." 106 00:08:03,440 --> 00:08:05,160 "Ah - ah - ah!" 107 00:08:46,080 --> 00:08:47,920 "Ah - ah!" 108 00:08:52,200 --> 00:08:54,880 The Sovereign immediately ordered Platov 109 00:08:54,960 --> 00:08:57,280 to give a million to the Englishmen in any money they liked. 110 00:08:57,400 --> 00:09:01,720 Whether in silver five-kopek pieces, or in small banknotes. 111 00:09:02,120 --> 00:09:05,360 The Englishmen asked for silver 112 00:09:05,480 --> 00:09:08,800 as they were, they said, unfamiliar with banknotes. 113 00:09:10,840 --> 00:09:13,080 The Englishmen whispered 114 00:09:13,200 --> 00:09:16,280 and showed another cunning trick of theirs: 115 00:09:16,400 --> 00:09:18,200 they had made a present of the flea, 116 00:09:18,360 --> 00:09:21,200 but had brought no case for it, 117 00:09:21,280 --> 00:09:24,120 because the case for it, said they, belonged to the Crown 118 00:09:24,200 --> 00:09:26,920 and as they were held to strict account for Crown property, 119 00:09:26,960 --> 00:09:30,240 they could not make a gift of it even to the Sovereign. 120 00:09:30,960 --> 00:09:33,200 Platov got into a great rage over this. 121 00:09:33,280 --> 00:09:35,320 "Why such rascality? 122 00:09:35,360 --> 00:09:37,760 You have made a gift, and received a million for it, 123 00:09:37,800 --> 00:09:39,800 and that's still not enough for you! 124 00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:44,440 The case always goes with every article!" 125 00:09:51,600 --> 00:09:54,200 But the Sovereign said: "Stop that, please; 126 00:09:54,240 --> 00:09:57,400 Don't spoil my politics. They have their own custom." 127 00:09:57,520 --> 00:09:59,120 and he asked the Englishmen, 128 00:09:59,240 --> 00:10:02,640 "What is the value of this walnut, in which the flea is lodged?" 129 00:10:04,320 --> 00:10:07,720 The Englishmen rated it at five thousand more. 130 00:10:07,840 --> 00:10:10,160 The Sovereign ordered Platov to pay, 131 00:10:10,240 --> 00:10:14,320 and said to the English: "You are the finest craftsmen in the world 132 00:10:14,440 --> 00:10:16,520 and my people, in comparison with you, 133 00:10:16,640 --> 00:10:19,320 can do nothing." 134 00:10:32,320 --> 00:10:37,320 Then Platov, without a word, slipped the tinyscope into his pocket, 135 00:10:37,400 --> 00:10:40,480 for, he thought, it should go with the other things 136 00:10:40,560 --> 00:10:43,840 and, besides, there had been enough money taken from them as it was. 137 00:10:44,840 --> 00:10:48,400 The remarkable flea of English blue steel 138 00:10:48,520 --> 00:10:52,320 remained in Aleksandr Pavlovich's whalebone casket 139 00:10:52,440 --> 00:10:56,720 until the Sovereign turned melancholy on account of military affairs 140 00:10:56,880 --> 00:10:59,720 and died in Taganrog. 141 00:11:09,800 --> 00:11:12,280 Emperor Nikolai Pavlovich did not at first 142 00:11:12,400 --> 00:11:14,960 pay any attention to the flea 143 00:11:15,040 --> 00:11:21,120 because of the disturbances at his accession to the throne* [*The Decembrist Uprising in 1825.] 144 00:11:43,800 --> 00:11:48,080 <i>Brave Russians and Russian soldiers.</i> 145 00:11:48,200 --> 00:11:52,760 <i>Bravo, bravo! It's time to work, work!</i> 146 00:11:52,840 --> 00:11:56,840 <i>We are Zanevsky-Nevsky soldiers.</i> 147 00:11:56,880 --> 00:12:00,880 <i>The Tsar is kind enough to note.</i> 148 00:12:09,800 --> 00:12:14,000 <i>He will say to us courageous, To us courageous lads,</i> 149 00:12:14,160 --> 00:12:18,600 <i>That we are just the right sort of fine young men!</i> 150 00:12:18,720 --> 00:12:22,640 <i>Who here is from the highest rank? Who will fit that standard?</i> 151 00:12:22,720 --> 00:12:26,480 <i>Who will manage such excellence? Who will manage such stardom?</i> 152 00:12:38,960 --> 00:12:41,520 "What rubbish is this 153 00:12:41,640 --> 00:12:45,400 and why did my brother take such care of it? 154 00:12:45,480 --> 00:12:49,680 Immediately find out where it has come from and what it means!" 155 00:12:57,080 --> 00:12:59,000 They hurried to look through records and registers 156 00:12:59,040 --> 00:13:01,280 but did not find any mention of it. 157 00:13:01,400 --> 00:13:05,080 They began asking one person after another, but nobody knew anything about it. 158 00:13:08,280 --> 00:13:12,400 Fortunately the Don Cossack Platov was still alive; 159 00:13:12,480 --> 00:13:16,320 he was even then lying sadly on his couch and smoking his pipe. 160 00:13:32,320 --> 00:13:35,360 As soon as he heard that there was such an uproar in the palace 161 00:13:35,440 --> 00:13:38,840 he rose up from his couch, threw away his pipe 162 00:13:38,880 --> 00:13:42,080 and appeared before the Sovereign wearing all his medals. 163 00:13:42,160 --> 00:13:44,360 "I was there," he said, "when it happened! 164 00:13:44,480 --> 00:13:48,520 And this is what took place before my own eyes in England." 165 00:13:58,120 --> 00:14:00,040 "Bravo, bravo!" 166 00:14:00,840 --> 00:14:04,000 "This is," said Platov, "Your Majesty, 167 00:14:04,120 --> 00:14:07,680 a delicate and interesting piece of work 168 00:14:07,800 --> 00:14:12,720 but we mustn't let our admiration get the better of us; 169 00:14:12,800 --> 00:14:16,240 we must submit it to Russian inspection. 170 00:14:16,320 --> 00:14:18,880 Our masters in Tula are no worse than the English ones!" 171 00:14:19,000 --> 00:14:20,360 "Bravo, bravo! 172 00:14:20,480 --> 00:14:23,320 That was well said, my brave old man," 173 00:14:23,440 --> 00:14:24,760 said the Sovereign. 174 00:14:24,880 --> 00:14:27,440 "Surpass them!" 175 00:14:41,880 --> 00:14:48,000 <i>Ho, here's our General Platov!</i> 176 00:14:48,120 --> 00:14:54,840 <i>Look, across the fields he rode.</i> 177 00:14:54,960 --> 00:15:01,640 <i>Aye, across the fields he rode.</i> 178 00:15:01,760 --> 00:15:09,000 <i>Aye, to visit Tula he rode.</i> 179 00:15:36,960 --> 00:15:39,680 Chief Master of the City of Tula Ivan Moskvin 180 00:15:44,160 --> 00:15:45,680 Gunsmith Lefty 181 00:16:12,520 --> 00:16:15,320 "This casket," said Platov, 182 00:16:15,440 --> 00:16:19,960 contains a masterfully-made English steel flea of fine work." 183 00:16:20,640 --> 00:16:23,800 The Sovereign orders you, you cunning dogs, 184 00:16:23,920 --> 00:16:26,760 to surpass the English master artisans!" 185 00:16:42,800 --> 00:16:46,080 "What are we to do now, fellow Orthodox Christians?" 186 00:16:46,280 --> 00:16:48,240 The gunsmiths responded: 187 00:16:48,320 --> 00:16:52,520 "The English nation also is not stupid, but even tolerably cunning, 188 00:16:52,560 --> 00:16:55,400 and their art has much sensible contrivance. 189 00:16:55,520 --> 00:17:00,000 To beat them, we shall have to think long and hard. 190 00:17:00,560 --> 00:17:02,600 Leave us the flea, 191 00:17:02,640 --> 00:17:06,160 go home to your quiet Don and have a good rest, so the wounds 192 00:17:06,240 --> 00:17:08,560 you received for your country may heal 193 00:17:08,680 --> 00:17:12,360 and when you go back through Tula, stop here and send for us: 194 00:17:12,400 --> 00:17:15,520 by that time, God willing, we shall have thought of something." 195 00:17:21,400 --> 00:17:23,480 "All right, lads!" 196 00:18:56,960 --> 00:19:01,600 <i>In the smithy! In the smithy!</i> 197 00:19:01,720 --> 00:19:06,080 <i>In the smithy are young blacksmiths, In the smithy are young blacksmiths,</i> 198 00:19:06,240 --> 00:19:10,800 <i>They are forging - are forging! They are forging - are forging!</i> 199 00:19:10,880 --> 00:19:15,640 <i>They are forging, and keep saying... They are forging and keep saying...</i> 200 00:19:15,760 --> 00:19:20,600 <i>Come on, Dunya, let's go! Come on, Dunya, let's go!</i> 201 00:19:20,720 --> 00:19:26,360 <i>Let's go, Dunya, to the wood, to the wood! Let's go, Dunya, to the wood, to the wood!</i> 202 00:19:51,160 --> 00:19:53,480 Gunsmith Lefty 203 00:20:28,800 --> 00:20:32,280 The Cossacks got the roof off but were knocked off their feet themselves 204 00:20:32,360 --> 00:20:35,480 for the gunsmiths, in their little closed room, 205 00:20:35,600 --> 00:20:37,240 had been working continuously 206 00:20:37,320 --> 00:20:40,920 in an atmosphere so thick and foul 207 00:20:41,040 --> 00:20:43,840 that a man used to fresh air 208 00:20:43,920 --> 00:20:46,800 couldn't stand a single whiff of it. 209 00:20:47,120 --> 00:20:49,720 "We're just knocking in the last nail, 210 00:20:49,760 --> 00:20:52,960 and when that is in place, we'll bring out our work." 211 00:21:18,440 --> 00:21:21,760 "Hand it over!" commanded Platov. 212 00:21:28,160 --> 00:21:30,720 "What's the meaning of this?" asked Platov. 213 00:21:30,800 --> 00:21:33,000 "And where is your work?" 214 00:21:33,280 --> 00:21:36,880 "Our work's there as well," the gunsmiths answered. 215 00:21:37,760 --> 00:21:40,400 "What sort of work have you done?" 216 00:21:40,880 --> 00:21:42,480 "Why explain it? 217 00:21:42,640 --> 00:21:46,880 It's all there in front of your eyes. You have a good look at it." 218 00:21:52,400 --> 00:21:54,840 "You scoundrels haven't done anything, 219 00:21:54,960 --> 00:21:57,760 and you've probably spoilt the whole thing! 220 00:21:59,640 --> 00:22:01,560 I'll have your heads for this!" 221 00:22:02,520 --> 00:22:05,760 "Without cause do you thus abuse us." 222 00:22:11,800 --> 00:22:14,960 "You're lying, you scoundrels, 223 00:22:15,040 --> 00:22:17,880 but I'm not letting you go like that. 224 00:22:18,000 --> 00:22:22,080 You can sit there like a poodle all the way to St. Petersburg." 225 00:22:27,200 --> 00:22:30,960 How can you take him from us thus without a <i>passport</i>? 226 00:22:31,080 --> 00:22:33,680 He will not be able to come back! 227 00:22:34,640 --> 00:22:37,480 "<i>Here's</i> a passport for you!" 228 00:22:39,320 --> 00:22:40,840 "Off you go, lads." 229 00:22:51,960 --> 00:22:55,720 "Ah! He was such a good master." 230 00:24:16,880 --> 00:24:19,480 "And what did my Tula craftsmen do 231 00:24:19,600 --> 00:24:22,440 that's better than the English <i>infusorium</i>?" 232 00:24:22,520 --> 00:24:23,920 asked the Sovereign. 233 00:24:48,960 --> 00:24:53,400 "How dare you deceive the Sovereign?" 234 00:25:03,840 --> 00:25:07,760 "Wanted to surpass the English masters!" 235 00:25:07,800 --> 00:25:09,560 "What does this mean, my good man, 236 00:25:09,600 --> 00:25:12,040 that we've looked it over this way and that 237 00:25:12,080 --> 00:25:16,040 and could find nothing noteworthy?" asked the Sovereign. 238 00:25:16,120 --> 00:25:19,680 "That way, Your Majesty, it is impossible to see anything, 239 00:25:19,800 --> 00:25:23,680 because our work, for a tinyscope of that size, 240 00:25:23,800 --> 00:25:28,040 is far too secret," answered Lefty. 241 00:25:37,120 --> 00:25:38,960 "Please look." 242 00:25:47,440 --> 00:25:50,200 "Take a look, if you please, why, the rogues 243 00:25:50,320 --> 00:25:53,680 have shod the English flea with horse-shoes!" 244 00:26:13,000 --> 00:26:15,880 "Is your name there, too?" asked the Sovereign. 245 00:26:17,040 --> 00:26:20,600 "Not at all," said Lefty, "mine's the only one that isn't there." 246 00:26:20,720 --> 00:26:22,480 "Why?" asked the Sovereign. 247 00:26:23,240 --> 00:26:25,120 "Because," said Lefty, 248 00:26:25,280 --> 00:26:27,840 "my work was smaller than those shoes: 249 00:26:27,920 --> 00:26:30,640 I forged the tiny nails with which the shoes are fastened on. 250 00:26:30,720 --> 00:26:33,560 That's something you can't see with any tinyscope." 251 00:26:33,600 --> 00:26:36,400 "Where is your tinyscope with which you could 252 00:26:36,480 --> 00:26:38,920 produce such a marvel?" asked the Sovereign. 253 00:26:39,000 --> 00:26:40,720 "We are poor people, 254 00:26:41,120 --> 00:26:43,680 and due to our poverty we have no tinyscope, 255 00:26:43,720 --> 00:26:46,720 but our eyes are trained to the work." 256 00:26:50,240 --> 00:26:52,160 "Please look." 257 00:27:52,200 --> 00:27:56,760 The Sovereign ordered that the shod <i>infusorium</i> be immediately packed up 258 00:27:56,800 --> 00:27:59,880 and sent back to England as a sort of gift 259 00:27:59,960 --> 00:28:03,640 so that they might understand there that it didn't impress us. 260 00:28:03,680 --> 00:28:07,240 And the Sovereign ordered that a special Courier should carry the flea, 261 00:28:07,360 --> 00:28:11,040 and that Lefty should go with him. 262 00:28:12,040 --> 00:28:14,800 [Don't drink too little, Don't drink too much, But drink in moderation.] 263 00:28:18,320 --> 00:28:22,200 <i>Along the river Along the way to Kazanka,</i> 264 00:28:22,320 --> 00:28:26,160 <i>The gray drake swims.</i> 265 00:28:26,320 --> 00:28:30,080 <i>"Ai, luli, luli, C'est tres joli."</i> 266 00:28:30,200 --> 00:28:34,240 <i>The gray drake swims.</i> 267 00:28:46,040 --> 00:28:49,680 <i>Along the banks and along the broad coast</i> 268 00:28:49,800 --> 00:28:53,440 <i>The good fellow goes!</i> 269 00:28:53,600 --> 00:28:57,200 <i>"Ai, luli, luli, C'est tres joli."</i> 270 00:28:57,320 --> 00:29:01,120 <i>The good fellow goes!</i> 271 00:29:08,440 --> 00:29:12,120 <i>He had curls, He had fair hair</i> 272 00:29:12,240 --> 00:29:16,160 <i>The lad spoke:</i> 273 00:29:16,320 --> 00:29:20,200 <i>"Ai, luli, luli, C'est tres joli."</i> 274 00:29:20,320 --> 00:29:24,240 <i>The lad spoke.</i> 275 00:29:39,240 --> 00:29:42,400 "Good work," said the English artisans, 276 00:29:42,480 --> 00:29:45,200 "subtly done, with vision." 277 00:29:50,920 --> 00:29:54,280 The Englishmen began to clap Lefty on the shoulder, <i>slap-slap</i>, 278 00:29:54,320 --> 00:29:56,240 and shook hands with him as an equal, 279 00:29:56,360 --> 00:29:58,480 "Comrade," they said, "comrade - fine craftsman. 280 00:29:58,600 --> 00:30:00,080 Let's have a drink!" 281 00:30:10,520 --> 00:30:14,480 "Comrade, stay here with us. We'll give you a good education 282 00:30:14,760 --> 00:30:18,440 and you'll become a wonderful craftsman." 283 00:30:25,000 --> 00:30:28,800 The English went to show Lefty their factories 284 00:30:28,880 --> 00:30:31,680 and their skill in making things. 285 00:30:45,520 --> 00:30:49,680 Lefty wasn't so interested in the way they made new muskets 286 00:30:49,760 --> 00:30:51,760 "We can make them as well as that." 287 00:30:51,880 --> 00:30:55,760 as he was in the condition of the old ones. 288 00:30:56,640 --> 00:30:58,960 [Past their use. Written off] 289 00:30:59,520 --> 00:31:03,200 Whenever he came across an old musket he'd stick his finger in the muzzle, 290 00:31:03,320 --> 00:31:06,520 run it round the walls of the barrel and say: 291 00:31:07,280 --> 00:31:12,760 "Oh, the English do not clean their guns with bricks." 292 00:31:18,640 --> 00:31:25,600 [Pounded Bricks for Cleaning Guns] 293 00:31:26,080 --> 00:31:28,400 [Past their use. Written off] 294 00:31:28,480 --> 00:31:33,920 "That", he said, "beats ours by a long shot." 295 00:31:40,840 --> 00:31:43,360 "Comrade, comrade! 296 00:31:43,480 --> 00:31:45,760 Stay with us. 297 00:31:45,840 --> 00:31:48,040 "You'll get used to it," they said, 298 00:31:48,160 --> 00:31:52,560 "accept our faith and we'll find you a wife." 299 00:32:05,320 --> 00:32:08,880 "If you want, we'll arrange a <i>rendezvous</i> for you." 300 00:32:09,200 --> 00:32:13,360 "Why", said Lefty, "trouble the girls for nothing? 301 00:32:13,520 --> 00:32:16,840 A <i>rendezvous</i> is for gentlemen and doesn't become us. 302 00:32:16,920 --> 00:32:19,160 This can never be. 303 00:32:19,240 --> 00:32:21,760 We are committed to our Motherland and 304 00:32:21,880 --> 00:32:25,280 our Russian faith is the true faith." 305 00:33:36,800 --> 00:33:41,360 "Comrade, comrade! Stay with us." 306 00:33:43,880 --> 00:33:46,560 "I thank you humbly for your hospitality, 307 00:33:46,720 --> 00:33:48,640 I've been very pleased with everything 308 00:33:48,720 --> 00:33:52,200 but now I want to get home." 309 00:34:02,240 --> 00:34:09,520 [Duroterranean Sea]* *North Sea 310 00:34:26,560 --> 00:34:30,680 "Where is our Russia?" Lefty asked. 311 00:34:56,960 --> 00:35:01,200 "Good boy, Russ! Let's have a drink," said the skipper's mate. 312 00:35:01,440 --> 00:35:03,080 And then he asked: 313 00:35:03,200 --> 00:35:07,040 "What's the secret you're taking back to Russia from our country?" 314 00:35:07,520 --> 00:35:10,240 "That's my business," answered Lefty. 315 00:35:10,360 --> 00:35:14,200 "If it's that way," said the mate, "then let's make a bet, English fashion." 316 00:35:14,400 --> 00:35:17,520 "How?" asked Lefty. "We bet never to drink alone 317 00:35:17,640 --> 00:35:21,120 but always together and the same drink; 318 00:35:21,240 --> 00:35:24,160 and whoever outdrinks the other wins the bet." 319 00:35:27,640 --> 00:35:31,360 Lefty thought to himself, "the sky's cloudy, my belly's rowdy, 320 00:35:31,440 --> 00:35:34,560 I'm bored to death, there's a long way left, 321 00:35:34,680 --> 00:35:37,280 the bet'll make me cheer up a bit." 322 00:35:37,840 --> 00:35:39,680 "All right, it's a go." 323 00:35:44,080 --> 00:35:48,960 [Riga Dunamunde] 324 00:36:07,680 --> 00:36:12,840 "What's the secret you're taking back to Russia from our country?" 325 00:36:12,920 --> 00:36:15,320 asked the skipper's mate. 326 00:36:15,440 --> 00:36:19,360 "That's my business," answered Lefty. 327 00:36:31,040 --> 00:36:33,480 "Cross yourself and turn away, 328 00:36:33,600 --> 00:36:36,280 there's a black devil rising out of the deep." 329 00:36:36,400 --> 00:36:40,200 "No! He's a red and watery-eyed sea-puss." 330 00:36:46,560 --> 00:36:48,480 "No, a black storm-devil." 331 00:36:50,240 --> 00:36:52,600 "No, red and watery-eyed." 332 00:37:06,880 --> 00:37:10,560 [St. Petersburg] 333 00:37:16,080 --> 00:37:19,880 From then on, Lefty and the skipper's mate 334 00:37:20,000 --> 00:37:22,800 suffered greatly different fates. 335 00:37:23,080 --> 00:37:28,600 The Englishman was taken to the English Embassy on the English Quay, 336 00:37:29,040 --> 00:37:33,440 but Lefty was asked, "who are you and where have you come from? 337 00:37:33,600 --> 00:37:37,320 Have you got a passport or any other document?" 338 00:37:37,440 --> 00:37:40,720 "Take him to the hospital!" ordered the policeman. 339 00:37:56,240 --> 00:38:00,360 They took him to one hospital but they wouldn't accept him without a passport, 340 00:38:00,480 --> 00:38:03,520 so they took him to a second, where they wouldn't accept him either, 341 00:38:03,640 --> 00:38:06,960 then a third and a fourth 342 00:38:07,080 --> 00:38:12,120 and so they kept on until morning, dragging him round all the distant alleys 343 00:38:12,360 --> 00:38:15,120 until he was beaten all black and blue. 344 00:38:15,520 --> 00:38:20,200 The skipper's mate, meanwhile, was lying in a warm bath in the Embassy. 345 00:38:20,320 --> 00:38:24,960 The apothecary there and then rolled a pill and put it in his mouth. 346 00:38:37,200 --> 00:38:41,440 "Tell the Sovereign that the English don't clean their guns with brick-dust!" 347 00:38:44,080 --> 00:38:46,440 The policeman took Lefty 348 00:38:46,560 --> 00:38:49,360 to the Obuhov People's Hospital 349 00:38:49,520 --> 00:38:54,320 where <i>all</i> people of unknown origin were allowed in to die. 350 00:39:07,040 --> 00:39:10,720 OBUHOV PEOPLE'S HOSPITAL 351 00:40:15,160 --> 00:40:18,960 "Tell the Sovereign that the English don't clean their guns with brick-dust; 352 00:40:19,040 --> 00:40:21,360 we shouldn't clean them that way, either, 353 00:40:21,440 --> 00:40:26,720 for if there should be a war, God forbid, they will not be fit to fire." 354 00:40:27,440 --> 00:40:31,720 "Tell the Sovereign that the English don't clean their guns with brick-dust!" 355 00:40:48,000 --> 00:40:52,120 "Tell the Sovereign that the English don't clean their guns with brick-dust; 356 00:40:52,240 --> 00:40:55,160 we shouldn't clean them that way, either." 357 00:41:10,920 --> 00:41:14,280 "The English don't clean their guns with brick-dust; 358 00:41:14,360 --> 00:41:16,240 we shouldn't clean them that way, either, 359 00:41:16,320 --> 00:41:20,760 for if there should be a war, God forbid, they will not be fit to fire." 360 00:41:20,800 --> 00:41:22,800 "And who are you?! 361 00:41:22,920 --> 00:41:24,880 Keep your nose out of what doesn't concern you - 362 00:41:24,920 --> 00:41:28,120 there are generals in Russia for that!" 363 00:41:58,080 --> 00:42:02,240 All this is now "a matter of bygone days," 364 00:42:02,480 --> 00:42:04,800 Lefty's real name, 365 00:42:04,920 --> 00:42:08,200 like the names of many of the greatest geniuses, 366 00:42:08,320 --> 00:42:11,560 is forever lost to posterity; 367 00:42:12,000 --> 00:42:17,040 but as a myth personified by popular fantasy, 368 00:42:17,160 --> 00:42:19,520 he is remembered by us now 369 00:42:19,640 --> 00:42:23,320 with great pride and love. 370 00:42:23,440 --> 00:42:26,320 [Tula city] THE END 371 00:42:26,360 --> 00:42:28,040 Subs by Eus, Pepi (2018) & Niffiwan (2021), based on Rus. subs by Bornik, 372 00:42:28,080 --> 00:42:30,160 and on the translations by Isabel F. Hapgood (1890) & George H. Hanna (1958)