Creative Association "Ekran", Gosteleradio USSR, 1988
December 32
From a strange and unknown platform On a never-ending trip
Left a train that was a bit odd, Or perhaps more than a bit.
[50 km to the New Year]
It rides on Creation's railway, Where it's going, none can guess -
This train carrying the label "20th Century Express".
Riding on this train Is no simple story.
Every day there's something About which to worry.
And yet, there is no need, Believe me, there's no need,
For every trifle to lead To quarrels, quarrels, quarrels.
There's one thought that keeps me troubled And is keeping me from sleep,
That we all seem just a little Like insane folk - just a bit.
Meetings, quarrels, separations, Bitter tears and joyful bliss.
This train carrying the label
[Happy New Year!] "20th Century Express".
Riding on this train Is no simple story.
Every day there's something About which to worry.
And yet, there is no need, Believe me, there's no need,
For every trifle to lead To quarrels, quarrels, quarrels.
Try to live without such quarrels, Don't dwell on them, and forget
That this train is a bit odd, Or perhaps more than a bit.
Let the time-table be broken, Always faster, never less,
By this train that has the label "20th Century Express".
Riding on this train Is no simple story.
Every day there's something About which to worry.
And yet, there is no need, Believe me, there's no need,
For every trifle to lead To quarrels, quarrels, quarrels.
Even in a year It would be hard to tally
Just how much I managed to get done today
Rubbing, and washing, and cleaning,
Boiling, and mending, and redoing.
Even in a year, Of course, it would be hard to tally
Just how much I laboured, how I worked the whole day,
I did not sit even for a second.
I ran, and I worried, and I hurried.
And although perhaps you won't believe it,
Not a single bit of fluff remained upon me.
Inside the red-hot oven This duck's been this whole day,
And I have neither, I have neither Down nor feathers grey.
Inside the red-hot oven The duck's been this whole day,
And she has neither, she has neither Down nor feathers grey.
Like in a sauna on a bench she's burning up... - I'm sagging...
- With caviar. - No, with a crust.
- With caviar. - No, with a ruddy crust I'm getting covered.
Such ghastliness, such ghastliness We really didn't expect.
They plucked us from the water wet...
Us, too, they plucked from water wet, Yes - plucked us from the water wet...
...and tore off all our scales!
Can you imagine such details? They tore them off, all of my scales.
They tore off yours, they tore off mine, They tore off all our scales.
Without your scales, don't you look bleak? Even somebody mute would speak.
Bacon!
Hey, what's this fuss you're making?
I want to lie in peace and quiet Because I'm tired and aching.
You're tired? I've been rebuked (mrr-meow) Due to this fish forsaken!
And I don't even relish fish, But I do love good bacon.
Good fatty, greasy bacon, That says it's tired and aching.
There, all done. It's time to go and set the plates.
There, all done. It's time to get the table set.
Hey, shoo, you get away!
Get lost! Get lost! Get lost! Get lost!
You rogue! You spy! You shameless thief!
Where is my husband roaming still?
Where have you been roaming? Couldn't you come faster?
I was trying to finish Everything you asked for.
Everything I asked for?
Everything you asked for.
Thanks a lot, for "everything I asked for"!
So then, what's the matter? Something still not fine?
Here is what's the matter: I'm sick of your lying!
Lying? What lying? I don't understand you!
[Happy New Year!]
Sending love, keen longing, Hugs most tender.
Your seductive kisses I remember.
A most vivid, fairy-tale occasion Were our meetings in those hills Caucasian.
A most vivid, fairy-tale occasion Were your meetings in those hills Caucasian!
- Oh, our meetings? .. - Yes, your meetings!
- I am left completely speechless...
You are left completely speechless!
Sure, it's easier to be silent!
Of our trust a violation, This southern association!
Enough, I'm done here! I've wasted my years.
Enough, I'm done here! I speak for the very last time.
Especially since You and I are antipodes.
Yes, yes, yes, You and I are antipodes
According to the Japanese zodiac.
You try to confuse things. A laughable effort.
Well, what do you want here? Why get hung up on this?
Why speak of some zodiac When this is a postcard?
And was it sent by a Japanese?
My efforts are fruitless, My words fall on deaf ears.
Let's go our own ways, Let's get a divorce.
- You are a monkey that... - I am a monkey?!
You are a monkey that has No common tongue with a horse.
- I am a monkey?! - Yes, you're a monkey!
Just listen again to what I tell you:
I'm a horse, a horse and you are a monkey in the Japanese zodiac.
So I'm a Japanese monkey, huh?!
No, you'll never get me, That's just how you are!
[Year of the Horse] [Welcome!]
[Year of the Goat]
[Year of the Monkey]
[Year of the Rooster]
Dear horse that stands before me, I'm afraid you are the reason
For a situation which has Never happened once before.
Oh, these men, they are so awful! Oh, these men, they are so vile!
It is better if we stop with All of this quite useless talk.
Well... dear horse that stands before me, The sure death of all Creation
Can occur in one quick instant From some trifle very small.
Oh, these men, they are so awful! Oh, these men, they are so vile!
Why should everybody suffer From some trifle very small?
[8 km to the New Year]
- Now listen here, horse! - I'm not going to listen.
So maybe your husband's Aggrieved you somehow.
Aggrieved me. And what's more, Without any reason.
Mm... yes...
But why should all other men Share in the blame?
And why should the women And kids be found guilty?
And all of the others Who ride on the train?
What am I to tell them? How shall I explain?
I waited for him The whole festive evening.
No, I will not ever Forget about that!
I tell you, the planets Will forsake their orbits,
The heavens will crack And collapse into nothing!
He's ever the rude one But only to myself -
To others, he's wonderful, Worldly and gallant.
Already the galaxies' axes are bending, And time has distinctly transformed its momentum.
No, when he does want to, He can be well-mannered.
- Dear horse that stands before me! - I'm not a horse at all.
I suppose that it was really Just a graphic turn of phrase.
But my spouse, that no-good husband, He should just, that no-good husband, Kiss me now...
So that time Would continue as it was.
Director & writer Vladimir Samsonov
Try to live without such quarrels, Don't dwell on them, and forget
That this train is a bit odd, Or perhaps more than a bit.
Let the time-table be broken, Always faster, never less,
By this train that has the label "20th Century Express".
Riding on this train Is no simple story.
Every day there's something About which to worry.
And yet, there is no need, Believe me, there's no need,
For every trifle to lead To quarrels, quarrels, quarrels.
And yet, there is no need, Believe me, there's no need,
[New Year]
For every trifle to lead To quarrels, quarrels, quarrels.
Happy New Year!
THE END
Subs: Lemicnor, Vlad Vlad, Eus, Niffiwan Aug 2018 - Jan 2022