Alice's Adventures in Wonderland
Chapter 2
Alice had become accustomed to surprises and did not wonder at this meeting at all.
The Blue Caterpillar was quietly smoking a hookah and paying no mind to her surroundings.
- You... Who are you?
- At this moment, I really...
I don't know, madam, I...
I know who I was when I got up this morning, but I feel I must have changed several times since then.
- What are you talking about? Are you out of your mind?
- I don't know... I must be in someone's else mind.
-I don't understand.
- And I can understand absolutely nothing as well.
So many changes in one day!
- As you can see: as people travel something in them changes.
Why does that make you unhappy?
- Well, I'm growing small when it's necessary for me to be big.
It always happens to the contrary and it bothers me so!
- Bite from the one side and you will grow taller.
And bite from the other and you shall grow smaller.
- One side of what? The other side of what?
- Of the mushroom!
Alice stood looking thoughtfully at the mushroom for a bit, trying to figure out which side was which
The mushroom was perfectly round, and Alice was quite confused.
- Now which is which?
Now this most foolish uncertainty will be somewhat lessened!
My dear Cheshire Cat!
Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?
- It depends a great deal on where you want to go.
- I don't care - so long as I get somewhere.
Then it doesn't matter which way you go.
You will manage to get somewhere without fail.
It is only necessary to go and never stray fom your direction.
- But what sort of people live around here? - In that direction lives the Hatter.
And in that direction lives the March Hare.
Visit either if you like: they're both mad.
- Why?
- The lord was so obsessed with hats that he went quite daft.
Now his name is Hatter.
And the March Hare, well, he's completely cross eyed,
and not from the early spring sun.
- Why should I want to converse with madmen?
- Oh, you can't help that: we're all mad here.
I'm mad, you're mad.
- Could you not disappear so suddenly, sir?
- Very well.
- Yes...
I have seen a cat without a grin, but grin without cat...
It's the most curious thing I ever saw in my life.
Walking a little further, she spied a house with a table set out under a tree in front of it.
The March Hare and the Hatter were having tea at it.
Between them the Dormouse was soundly sleeping.
- No room! No room! All the places are occupied!
- There's plenty of room!
- Have some wine.
- I don't see any wine. - There isn't any.
- Then it wasn't very civil of you to offer it! That's rude!
- It wasn't very civil of you to sit down without being invited. That's rude too!
- It's laid out for a great many more than just three.
- Well, would it really be better if there were many more of us, but far fewer cups?
You should think about what you say!
- I always say what I think and think what I say!
- Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! That's not the same thing at all!
You might just as well say that "I see what I eat" is the same thing as "I eat what I see".
It seems to me you are just wasting time!
- Not at all. We can't lose time. You shouldn't try to insult us.
- Certainly, I apologize.
-I imagine you've never spoken to him? Time that is?
- Maybe I haven't, but I've often thought of how to kill him.
- Time doesn't like that!
- That's right! And time has quarreled with us!
- Now it's always 6 o'clock.
And 6 o'clock is time for tea.
- We don't even have time to wash the dishes.
- Oh, in my whole life I have never seen such a foolish company!
I need to leave this garden as soon as possible.
Would you tell me why you are painting those roses?
- Why, the fact is, Miss, this ought to have been a red rose tree.
But we were fools and planted white instead red.
If the Queen found out, we would all have our heads cut off
"What an escort!" - thought Alice.
This word sounded wrong somehow, but she didn't know how to correct herself.
Perhaps she ought to bow her head at the sight of such a brilliant procession?
However, Alice could remember no rules for an occassion such as this.
But what would be the use of a procession if people all had to look at the ground?
So that they couldn't see it?
- What is this?
- Your Majesty, they wanted... - All quite obvious! Off with their heads.
Don't be afraid, I won't let her to touch us.
- Well, how did it go?
- Their heads are gone, may it please your Majesty!
- Very well! Can you play croquet?
- We shall play! - Get to your places!
Off with her head!
Off with his head! And don't forget to chop off his head!
-This place is so accustomed to chopping off heads - it's a wonder that anyone is still alive.
- Well, how are you?
- Who are you talking to?
- With my friend the Cheshire Cat. Allow me to introduce it
- I don't like the look of it at all! However, it may kiss my hand if it likes.
- Thank you, but I'd rather not.
- Go and fetch the executioner.
Off with his head!
- It's impossible to chop off its head if there's no body to chop it from.
- If there is a head - it means that you can chop it!
I will think on what to do with you but he will be juged by the royal court!!
Not in vain do we have a pair of the hands - without them there's no life, only sorrow
What would you use to swat your brow if a fly landed on it?
On the other hand here's a head, why should that be?
You can't chop wood with just a head and nails don't get hammered.
Although one may empty-headed, the head still has its uses.
One may say they're quite attached and no one would like to lose it!