Through the Looking Glass
after eponymous tale by L. Carroll
Part Four
While Alice, the King and the Messenger were running to see fight between the Unicorn and the Lion,
Alice remembered the words of an old song:
The Lion and the Unicorn were fighting for the crown: The Lion beat the Unicorn all round the town
Some gave them white bread, some gave them brown: Some gave them plum-cake and drummed them out of town.
- Does the one that wins get the crown? - Dear me, no! What an idea!
- Would you be good enough to stop a minute? - Stop a minute? First you'd have to catch it,
and I'm not strong enough; it goes by so fearfully quick.
Breeeaaaak! Ten minutes!
- What—is—this? - This is a child. A living child.
I always thought they were fabulous monsters!
Do you know, I always thought Unicorns were fabulous monsters, too!
Well, if you'll believe in me, I'll believe in you. Is that a bargain?
Yes, if you like.
Then hand round the plum-cake, Monster!
I don't understand! I've cut several slices already, but they always join on again!
You don't know how to manage Looking-glass cakes. Hand it round first, and cut it afterwards.
Lion's piece
Alice couldn't make out where the drumming came from.
"Now they will be drummed out of town," thought Alice, "the sooner the better!"
Ahoy! Ahoy! Check! You're my prisoner!
Ahoy! Ahoy! Check!
- She's my prisoner, you know! - But then I came and rescued her!
It was a glorious victory, wasn't it?
I don't know. I don't want to be anybody's prisoner. I want to be a Queen!
So you will, when you've crossed the next brook. I'll accompany you.
I was wondering what the mouse-trap was for. It's hard to imagine mice living on horses.
Hard, yet possible. I wouldn't like them running all about me.
- I'm afraid you've not had much practice in riding, yes?
- I've had plenty of practice. The great art of riding is...
is to keep one's balance!
My mind goes on working all the same. the more head downwards I am, the deeper are my thoughts.
Are you sad? Let me sing you a song. When I sing it, everyone either cries or...
- Or what? - Or doesn't cry!
So many creatures live in my wood! Hare and elk and badger.
An old wood grouse, hearing a fox, Flies onto a thick branch.
A hedgehog I have, who hurried along To dine with his good friends.
Yet there is no elephant here in my wood, There's no merry elephant here...
A hedgehog embroiders my shirt with a cross And sings me a song in deep bass.
A dear fox scatters my yard with sand And sweeps my room with her tail.
A titmouse flies over my head as it tweets, A gopher's my neighbor and friend.
Yet there is no elephant here in my wood, There's no merry elephant here...
Look, there's your finish line. Now I will leave you, my child.
Won't you wave your handkerchief to me? It may keep me from losing heart.
Years afterwards, Alice could bring the whole scene back again, as if it had been only yesterday -
the mild blue eyes and kindly smile of the Knight, the setting sun gleaming through his hair,
and the black shadows of the forest behind.
Ah, I never expected I should be a Queen so soon!
Please, would you tell me... - Speak when you're spoken to!
You can't be a Queen, till you've passed the examination!
Here is an exercise in Division: Divide a loaf by a knife — what's the answer?
- I suppose..... - Bread-and-butter, of course! No try Subtraction:
Take a bone from a dog: what remains? - Nothing would remain.
Wrong! The dog's temper would remain! - How's that?
- Tell me, what's the cause of lightning? - The thunder! No, no, no! The other way.
Oh, we had such a thunderstorm last Friday!
I mean one of the last set of Fridays!
In our country, there's only one Friday at a time.
Hee-hee, that's a poor thin way of doing things!
Now here, we sometimes take as many as five Fridays a week!
By the way, I invite you to Alice's dinner-party this afternoon.
- And I invite you. - I didn't know I was to have a party at all.
But if there is to be one, I think I ought to invite the guests.
We gave you the opportunity of doing it,
but I daresay you've not had many lessons in manners yet.
Reception is postponed till the week after next!
To the Looking-Glass world it was Alice that said, "I've a sceptre in hand, I've a crown on my head;
Let the Looking-Glass creatures, whatever they be, Come and dine with the Red Queen, the White Queen, and me."
Let me introduce you: Alice—Mutton; Mutton—Alice.
- May I give you a slice? - Certainly not!
It isn't etiquette to cut any one you've been introduced to.
Remove the joint!
I won't be introduced to the pudding, please! Or we shall get no dinner at all!
Pudding—Alice; Alice—Pudding. Remove the pudding!
To queen Alice's health!
Here I am!
Enough! Enough, I said! Stop this at once!
As for you, I'll shake you into a kitten!
"I had such a wonderful dream, but Kitty woke me," thought Alice.
And she was with me in the Looking-Glass world.
But of course! The Black Queen was Kitty!
But Kitty only purred in reply, and pretended it hadn't heard Alice.
It is a very inconvenient habit of kittens
that, whatever you say to them, they always purr.
I hear you saying: "like fairy-tale living" But judge for yourselves: is that easily lived?
You can't do a thing here without being cautious, Because of uncertainly and of obscurity, And lack of knowledge and unpleasantness...
Oh, it's so complicated! And that's where the fun is! You can't take one step here without taking care.
I raced through the story on a path of danger,
I wanted to quickly Reach the denouement.
Now, the denouement's here, And I'm a bit sorry
Recalling my story As I'm growing up.