1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:05,960 SOYUZMULTFILM Puppetfilm association 1964 2 00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:08,440 1763 Polzunov's steam engine 3 00:00:08,480 --> 00:00:10,560 1776 Kulibin's wooden one-arched bridge 4 00:00:10,640 --> 00:00:12,160 1801 Artamonov's bicycle 5 00:00:12,280 --> 00:00:13,880 1833 Cherepanov locomotive 6 00:00:14,000 --> 00:00:16,000 1878 A.F. Mozhayskiy's flying machine 7 00:00:16,080 --> 00:00:17,600 1881 Kibalchich's aeronautic device 8 00:00:17,720 --> 00:00:22,800 This film is dedicated to the wonderful Russian craftsmen of the past, present and future. 9 00:00:22,880 --> 00:00:25,760 LEFTY after the story by N.S. Leskov 10 00:00:26,680 --> 00:00:31,640 The tale of how Tula craftsmen shoed an English steel flea 11 00:00:32,360 --> 00:00:35,920 Scenario and Direction IVAN IVANOV-VANO 12 00:00:36,120 --> 00:00:39,840 Director: Vladimir Danilevich Composer: Aleksandr Aleksandrov 13 00:00:40,320 --> 00:00:43,720 Art directors: Marina Sokolova, Arkadiy Tyurin, Anatoliy Kuritsyn 14 00:00:43,840 --> 00:00:47,600 Camera: Iosif Golomb Sound: Boris Filchikov 15 00:00:47,920 --> 00:00:50,440 Animators: Yuriy Norshteyn, Galina Zolotovskaya, 16 00:00:50,480 --> 00:00:53,000 Lev Zhdanov, Kirill Malyantovich, Mihail Botov 17 00:00:53,080 --> 00:00:56,520 Background artists: T. Zuykova, G. Nevzorova, Aleksandr Gorbachyov, 18 00:00:56,560 --> 00:01:00,000 Vladimir Sobolev, Vladimir Alisov, V. Rodzhero, A. Volkov 19 00:01:00,240 --> 00:01:02,800 Puppets and decor: V. Cherkinskaya, Liliana Lyutinskaya, 20 00:01:02,840 --> 00:01:05,480 Svetlana Znamenskaya, Oleg Masainov, N. Budylova, 21 00:01:05,520 --> 00:01:08,160 Yu. Benkevich, M. Spasskaya, Vladimir Abakumov 22 00:01:08,240 --> 00:01:12,080 Script editor: Natalya Abramova Montage: N. Mayorova 23 00:01:12,160 --> 00:01:15,240 State Cinematographic Symphony Orchestra Conductor: G. Gamburg 24 00:01:15,280 --> 00:01:17,560 Narrator: D. Zhuravlyov 25 00:01:17,640 --> 00:01:20,320 Production director: Natan Bitman 26 00:01:39,480 --> 00:01:42,000 [Paris City, 1815] 27 00:01:45,760 --> 00:01:49,320 When the Emperor Aleksandr Pavlovich 28 00:01:49,440 --> 00:01:54,360 ended the military campaign of 1812, 29 00:01:54,640 --> 00:01:59,760 he got the idea of travelling about Europe, 30 00:02:00,000 --> 00:02:05,160 to see what marvels could be seen in the various realms. 31 00:02:12,960 --> 00:02:15,400 He journeyed through all lands, and 32 00:02:15,520 --> 00:02:18,160 everywhere, by reason of his amiability, [Dresden City] 33 00:02:18,240 --> 00:02:21,440 had heart-to-heart talks with all sorts of people... [Vienna City] 34 00:02:21,560 --> 00:02:24,200 And everyone surprised him with something [Leipzig City] 35 00:02:24,320 --> 00:02:27,560 and sought to incline him to their side, [Amsterdam City] 36 00:02:27,800 --> 00:02:31,440 but he had with him a Don Cossack named Platov 37 00:02:31,560 --> 00:02:34,440 who did not like this inclination; 38 00:02:35,800 --> 00:02:37,800 And if Platov should notice 39 00:02:37,920 --> 00:02:40,560 that the Sovereign was interested in something foreign, [London, 1816] 40 00:02:40,720 --> 00:02:42,040 he would go up to him and say, 41 00:02:42,080 --> 00:02:46,240 "That's all right, of course, but ours at home are just as good." 42 00:02:47,440 --> 00:02:50,880 But then the English invited the Sovereign 43 00:02:51,040 --> 00:02:53,560 to their arsenals, 44 00:02:53,680 --> 00:02:56,760 armories, shops, soapworks and everywhere else 45 00:02:56,880 --> 00:03:00,760 in order to demonstrate their superiority over us in all things 46 00:03:00,840 --> 00:03:02,320 and boast of it. 47 00:03:56,920 --> 00:03:59,120 [English Cabinet of Curiosities] 48 00:04:02,520 --> 00:04:05,480 They arrived at a huge building 49 00:04:06,000 --> 00:04:08,280 with an indescribable entrance, 50 00:04:08,400 --> 00:04:10,840 corridors without end, 51 00:04:10,960 --> 00:04:13,840 rooms one after another, 52 00:04:33,880 --> 00:04:37,240 "A-ah-ah-ah..." 53 00:04:37,680 --> 00:04:41,480 The Sovereign was very pleased with all this: "Ah - ah - ah! 54 00:04:41,880 --> 00:04:43,120 Ah - ah - ah!" 55 00:04:43,600 --> 00:04:46,520 But Platov strode along with downcast eyes 56 00:04:46,600 --> 00:04:48,280 as though he beheld nothing 57 00:04:48,320 --> 00:04:51,000 and merely twisted his whiskers into rings. 58 00:05:13,320 --> 00:05:15,680 They came to the main hall. 59 00:05:15,760 --> 00:05:19,800 The English immediately began to show them all sorts of marvels 60 00:05:19,840 --> 00:05:22,440 and explain to what ends they were adapted 61 00:05:22,480 --> 00:05:24,560 in military matters. 62 00:05:24,800 --> 00:05:28,120 All this delighted the Sovereign greatly: "Ah - ah - ah!" 63 00:05:28,240 --> 00:05:31,280 everything seemed to him very good: "Ah - ah - ah!" 64 00:05:31,360 --> 00:05:33,760 but Platov preserved his apathy, 65 00:05:33,880 --> 00:05:36,960 as if nothing of this meant anything to him. 66 00:05:37,480 --> 00:05:40,000 The Sovereign said: "How is this possible?" 67 00:05:40,080 --> 00:05:42,240 "Why is there such unfeelingness in you?" 68 00:05:42,320 --> 00:05:45,280 "Is there really nothing here that astonishes you?" 69 00:05:45,360 --> 00:05:47,080 And Platov replied: 70 00:05:47,120 --> 00:05:49,720 "Only one thing here astonishes me: 71 00:05:49,760 --> 00:05:54,080 that my dashing lads of the Don made war without all this 72 00:05:54,200 --> 00:05:57,120 and drove twelve nations out of our country." 73 00:05:59,600 --> 00:06:03,320 The Sovereign said: "That's all prejudice." 74 00:06:04,400 --> 00:06:09,400 But the Englishmen, noticing the dissension between them, 75 00:06:09,520 --> 00:06:14,680 took them straight to the statue of Apollo Belvedere. 76 00:06:15,840 --> 00:06:18,720 "This pistol", the Englishmen said, 77 00:06:18,840 --> 00:06:22,080 "is of unknown, inimitable workmanship - 78 00:06:22,160 --> 00:06:28,160 one of our admirals snatched it from the belt of a pirate captain at Calabria." 79 00:06:28,400 --> 00:06:32,080 "Ah, ah, ah!" gasped the Sovereign in amazement, "How can this be? 80 00:06:32,320 --> 00:06:35,480 How is it even possible to work so delicately? 81 00:06:35,600 --> 00:06:39,160 If I had just one such craftsman in Russia 82 00:06:39,280 --> 00:06:42,480 I should be very happy and proud 83 00:06:42,600 --> 00:06:46,720 and I would instantly make that man a noble." 84 00:06:46,800 --> 00:06:50,480 The English protested: "It can't be taken apart!" 85 00:06:50,560 --> 00:06:54,240 "Oh, we'll manage" replied Platov. 86 00:06:54,320 --> 00:06:56,080 [Made by Ivan Moskvin, Tula] 87 00:06:56,120 --> 00:06:59,440 The Sovereign said sadly to Platov: "Ah, ah, ah! 88 00:06:59,560 --> 00:07:04,760 Why did you have to upset them; I'm so sorry for them now." 89 00:07:05,640 --> 00:07:08,280 "Oho, have we blundered!" 90 00:07:10,240 --> 00:07:12,080 Then they said to the Sovereign: 91 00:07:12,200 --> 00:07:16,440 "Now we will present you with a true technical marvel". 92 00:07:16,560 --> 00:07:20,480 The Sovereign asked: "What does this mean?" 93 00:07:20,640 --> 00:07:25,240 "Can you, please", said the English master artisan, "see that speck?" 94 00:07:25,280 --> 00:07:28,400 "What do I want a speck of dust for?" asked the Sovereign. 95 00:07:28,480 --> 00:07:31,840 "But this," answered the English master "is not a speck, 96 00:07:31,920 --> 00:07:33,840 but an infusorium." 97 00:07:33,960 --> 00:07:36,400 "Is it alive?" the Sovereign then asked. 98 00:07:36,520 --> 00:07:40,080 "Oh no," answered the English master, "it's not alive. 99 00:07:40,200 --> 00:07:42,520 But it has been forged out of pure English steel 100 00:07:42,640 --> 00:07:45,160 in the image of a flea, by ourselves, 101 00:07:45,360 --> 00:07:48,280 and in the middle of it are works and a spring. 102 00:07:48,400 --> 00:07:50,520 Be kind enough to turn the key 103 00:07:50,640 --> 00:07:54,160 and it'll do a dance." 104 00:07:54,280 --> 00:07:57,680 "Ah - ah - ah!" said the Sovereign curiously. 105 00:07:57,800 --> 00:08:00,640 "Kindly look in the tinyscope." 106 00:08:03,440 --> 00:08:05,160 "Ah - ah - ah!" 107 00:08:46,080 --> 00:08:47,920 "Ah - ah!" 108 00:08:52,200 --> 00:08:54,880 The Sovereign immediately ordered Platov 109 00:08:54,960 --> 00:08:57,280 to give a million to the Englishmen in any money they liked. 110 00:08:57,400 --> 00:09:01,720 Whether in silver five-kopek pieces, or in small banknotes. 111 00:09:02,120 --> 00:09:05,360 The Englishmen asked for silver 112 00:09:05,480 --> 00:09:08,800 as they were, they said, unfamiliar with banknotes. 113 00:09:10,840 --> 00:09:13,080 The Englishmen whispered 114 00:09:13,200 --> 00:09:16,280 and showed another cunning trick of theirs: 115 00:09:16,400 --> 00:09:18,200 they had made a present of the flea, 116 00:09:18,360 --> 00:09:21,200 but had brought no case for it, 117 00:09:21,280 --> 00:09:24,120 because the case for it, said they, belonged to the Crown 118 00:09:24,200 --> 00:09:26,920 and as they were held to strict account for Crown property, 119 00:09:26,960 --> 00:09:30,240 they could not make a gift of it even to the Sovereign. 120 00:09:30,960 --> 00:09:33,200 Platov got into a great rage over this. 121 00:09:33,280 --> 00:09:35,320 "Why such rascality? 122 00:09:35,360 --> 00:09:37,760 You have made a gift, and received a million for it, 123 00:09:37,800 --> 00:09:39,800 and that's still not enough for you! 124 00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:44,440 The case always goes with every article!" 125 00:09:51,600 --> 00:09:54,200 But the Sovereign said: "Stop that, please; 126 00:09:54,240 --> 00:09:57,400 Don't spoil my politics. They have their own custom." 127 00:09:57,520 --> 00:09:59,120 and he asked the Englishmen, 128 00:09:59,240 --> 00:10:02,640 "What is the value of this walnut, in which the flea is lodged?" 129 00:10:04,320 --> 00:10:07,720 The Englishmen rated it at five thousand more. 130 00:10:07,840 --> 00:10:10,160 The Sovereign ordered Platov to pay, 131 00:10:10,240 --> 00:10:14,320 and said to the English: "You are the finest craftsmen in the world 132 00:10:14,440 --> 00:10:16,520 and my people, in comparison with you, 133 00:10:16,640 --> 00:10:19,320 can do nothing." 134 00:10:32,320 --> 00:10:37,320 Then Platov, without a word, slipped the tinyscope into his pocket, 135 00:10:37,400 --> 00:10:40,480 for, he thought, it should go with the other things 136 00:10:40,560 --> 00:10:43,840 and, besides, there had been enough money taken from them as it was. 137 00:10:44,840 --> 00:10:48,400 The remarkable flea of English blue steel 138 00:10:48,520 --> 00:10:52,320 remained in Aleksandr Pavlovich's whalebone casket 139 00:10:52,440 --> 00:10:56,720 until the Sovereign turned melancholy on account of military affairs 140 00:10:56,880 --> 00:10:59,720 and died in Taganrog. 141 00:11:09,800 --> 00:11:12,280 Emperor Nikolai Pavlovich did not at first 142 00:11:12,400 --> 00:11:14,960 pay any attention to the flea 143 00:11:15,040 --> 00:11:21,120 because of the disturbances at his accession to the throne* [*The Decembrist Uprising in 1825.] 144 00:11:43,800 --> 00:11:48,080 Brave Russians and Russian soldiers. 145 00:11:48,200 --> 00:11:52,760 Bravo, bravo! It's time to work, work! 146 00:11:52,840 --> 00:11:56,840 We are Zanevsky-Nevsky soldiers. 147 00:11:56,880 --> 00:12:00,880 The Tsar is kind enough to note. 148 00:12:09,800 --> 00:12:14,000 He will say to us courageous, To us courageous lads, 149 00:12:14,160 --> 00:12:18,600 That we are just the right sort of fine young men! 150 00:12:18,720 --> 00:12:22,640 Who here is from the highest rank? Who will fit that standard? 151 00:12:22,720 --> 00:12:26,480 Who will manage such excellence? Who will manage such stardom? 152 00:12:38,960 --> 00:12:41,520 "What rubbish is this 153 00:12:41,640 --> 00:12:45,400 and why did my brother take such care of it? 154 00:12:45,480 --> 00:12:49,680 Immediately find out where it has come from and what it means!" 155 00:12:57,080 --> 00:12:59,000 They hurried to look through records and registers 156 00:12:59,040 --> 00:13:01,280 but did not find any mention of it. 157 00:13:01,400 --> 00:13:05,080 They began asking one person after another, but nobody knew anything about it. 158 00:13:08,280 --> 00:13:12,400 Fortunately the Don Cossack Platov was still alive; 159 00:13:12,480 --> 00:13:16,320 he was even then lying sadly on his couch and smoking his pipe. 160 00:13:32,320 --> 00:13:35,360 As soon as he heard that there was such an uproar in the palace 161 00:13:35,440 --> 00:13:38,840 he rose up from his couch, threw away his pipe 162 00:13:38,880 --> 00:13:42,080 and appeared before the Sovereign wearing all his medals. 163 00:13:42,160 --> 00:13:44,360 "I was there," he said, "when it happened! 164 00:13:44,480 --> 00:13:48,520 And this is what took place before my own eyes in England." 165 00:13:58,120 --> 00:14:00,040 "Bravo, bravo!" 166 00:14:00,840 --> 00:14:04,000 "This is," said Platov, "Your Majesty, 167 00:14:04,120 --> 00:14:07,680 a delicate and interesting piece of work 168 00:14:07,800 --> 00:14:12,720 but we mustn't let our admiration get the better of us; 169 00:14:12,800 --> 00:14:16,240 we must submit it to Russian inspection. 170 00:14:16,320 --> 00:14:18,880 Our masters in Tula are no worse than the English ones!" 171 00:14:19,000 --> 00:14:20,360 "Bravo, bravo! 172 00:14:20,480 --> 00:14:23,320 That was well said, my brave old man," 173 00:14:23,440 --> 00:14:24,760 said the Sovereign. 174 00:14:24,880 --> 00:14:27,440 "Surpass them!" 175 00:14:41,880 --> 00:14:48,000 Ho, here's our General Platov! 176 00:14:48,120 --> 00:14:54,840 Look, across the fields he rode. 177 00:14:54,960 --> 00:15:01,640 Aye, across the fields he rode. 178 00:15:01,760 --> 00:15:09,000 Aye, to visit Tula he rode. 179 00:15:36,960 --> 00:15:39,680 Chief Master of the City of Tula Ivan Moskvin 180 00:15:44,160 --> 00:15:45,680 Gunsmith Lefty 181 00:16:12,520 --> 00:16:15,320 "This casket," said Platov, 182 00:16:15,440 --> 00:16:19,960 contains a masterfully-made English steel flea of fine work." 183 00:16:20,640 --> 00:16:23,800 The Sovereign orders you, you cunning dogs, 184 00:16:23,920 --> 00:16:26,760 to surpass the English master artisans!" 185 00:16:42,800 --> 00:16:46,080 "What are we to do now, fellow Orthodox Christians?" 186 00:16:46,280 --> 00:16:48,240 The gunsmiths responded: 187 00:16:48,320 --> 00:16:52,520 "The English nation also is not stupid, but even tolerably cunning, 188 00:16:52,560 --> 00:16:55,400 and their art has much sensible contrivance. 189 00:16:55,520 --> 00:17:00,000 To beat them, we shall have to think long and hard. 190 00:17:00,560 --> 00:17:02,600 Leave us the flea, 191 00:17:02,640 --> 00:17:06,160 go home to your quiet Don and have a good rest, so the wounds 192 00:17:06,240 --> 00:17:08,560 you received for your country may heal 193 00:17:08,680 --> 00:17:12,360 and when you go back through Tula, stop here and send for us: 194 00:17:12,400 --> 00:17:15,520 by that time, God willing, we shall have thought of something." 195 00:17:21,400 --> 00:17:23,480 "All right, lads!" 196 00:18:56,960 --> 00:19:01,600 In the smithy! In the smithy! 197 00:19:01,720 --> 00:19:06,080 In the smithy are young blacksmiths, In the smithy are young blacksmiths, 198 00:19:06,240 --> 00:19:10,800 They are forging - are forging! They are forging - are forging! 199 00:19:10,880 --> 00:19:15,640 They are forging, and keep saying... They are forging and keep saying... 200 00:19:15,760 --> 00:19:20,600 Come on, Dunya, let's go! Come on, Dunya, let's go! 201 00:19:20,720 --> 00:19:26,360 Let's go, Dunya, to the wood, to the wood! Let's go, Dunya, to the wood, to the wood! 202 00:19:51,160 --> 00:19:53,480 Gunsmith Lefty 203 00:20:28,800 --> 00:20:32,280 The Cossacks got the roof off but were knocked off their feet themselves 204 00:20:32,360 --> 00:20:35,480 for the gunsmiths, in their little closed room, 205 00:20:35,600 --> 00:20:37,240 had been working continuously 206 00:20:37,320 --> 00:20:40,920 in an atmosphere so thick and foul 207 00:20:41,040 --> 00:20:43,840 that a man used to fresh air 208 00:20:43,920 --> 00:20:46,800 couldn't stand a single whiff of it. 209 00:20:47,120 --> 00:20:49,720 "We're just knocking in the last nail, 210 00:20:49,760 --> 00:20:52,960 and when that is in place, we'll bring out our work." 211 00:21:18,440 --> 00:21:21,760 "Hand it over!" commanded Platov. 212 00:21:28,160 --> 00:21:30,720 "What's the meaning of this?" asked Platov. 213 00:21:30,800 --> 00:21:33,000 "And where is your work?" 214 00:21:33,280 --> 00:21:36,880 "Our work's there as well," the gunsmiths answered. 215 00:21:37,760 --> 00:21:40,400 "What sort of work have you done?" 216 00:21:40,880 --> 00:21:42,480 "Why explain it? 217 00:21:42,640 --> 00:21:46,880 It's all there in front of your eyes. You have a good look at it." 218 00:21:52,400 --> 00:21:54,840 "You scoundrels haven't done anything, 219 00:21:54,960 --> 00:21:57,760 and you've probably spoilt the whole thing! 220 00:21:59,640 --> 00:22:01,560 I'll have your heads for this!" 221 00:22:02,520 --> 00:22:05,760 "Without cause do you thus abuse us." 222 00:22:11,800 --> 00:22:14,960 "You're lying, you scoundrels, 223 00:22:15,040 --> 00:22:17,880 but I'm not letting you go like that. 224 00:22:18,000 --> 00:22:22,080 You can sit there like a poodle all the way to St. Petersburg." 225 00:22:27,200 --> 00:22:30,960 How can you take him from us thus without a passport? 226 00:22:31,080 --> 00:22:33,680 He will not be able to come back! 227 00:22:34,640 --> 00:22:37,480 "Here's a passport for you!" 228 00:22:39,320 --> 00:22:40,840 "Off you go, lads." 229 00:22:51,960 --> 00:22:55,720 "Ah! He was such a good master." 230 00:24:16,880 --> 00:24:19,480 "And what did my Tula craftsmen do 231 00:24:19,600 --> 00:24:22,440 that's better than the English infusorium?" 232 00:24:22,520 --> 00:24:23,920 asked the Sovereign. 233 00:24:48,960 --> 00:24:53,400 "How dare you deceive the Sovereign?" 234 00:25:03,840 --> 00:25:07,760 "Wanted to surpass the English masters!" 235 00:25:07,800 --> 00:25:09,560 "What does this mean, my good man, 236 00:25:09,600 --> 00:25:12,040 that we've looked it over this way and that 237 00:25:12,080 --> 00:25:16,040 and could find nothing noteworthy?" asked the Sovereign. 238 00:25:16,120 --> 00:25:19,680 "That way, Your Majesty, it is impossible to see anything, 239 00:25:19,800 --> 00:25:23,680 because our work, for a tinyscope of that size, 240 00:25:23,800 --> 00:25:28,040 is far too secret," answered Lefty. 241 00:25:37,120 --> 00:25:38,960 "Please look." 242 00:25:47,440 --> 00:25:50,200 "Take a look, if you please, why, the rogues 243 00:25:50,320 --> 00:25:53,680 have shod the English flea with horse-shoes!" 244 00:26:13,000 --> 00:26:15,880 "Is your name there, too?" asked the Sovereign. 245 00:26:17,040 --> 00:26:20,600 "Not at all," said Lefty, "mine's the only one that isn't there." 246 00:26:20,720 --> 00:26:22,480 "Why?" asked the Sovereign. 247 00:26:23,240 --> 00:26:25,120 "Because," said Lefty, 248 00:26:25,280 --> 00:26:27,840 "my work was smaller than those shoes: 249 00:26:27,920 --> 00:26:30,640 I forged the tiny nails with which the shoes are fastened on. 250 00:26:30,720 --> 00:26:33,560 That's something you can't see with any tinyscope." 251 00:26:33,600 --> 00:26:36,400 "Where is your tinyscope with which you could 252 00:26:36,480 --> 00:26:38,920 produce such a marvel?" asked the Sovereign. 253 00:26:39,000 --> 00:26:40,720 "We are poor people, 254 00:26:41,120 --> 00:26:43,680 and due to our poverty we have no tinyscope, 255 00:26:43,720 --> 00:26:46,720 but our eyes are trained to the work." 256 00:26:50,240 --> 00:26:52,160 "Please look." 257 00:27:52,200 --> 00:27:56,760 The Sovereign ordered that the shod infusorium be immediately packed up 258 00:27:56,800 --> 00:27:59,880 and sent back to England as a sort of gift 259 00:27:59,960 --> 00:28:03,640 so that they might understand there that it didn't impress us. 260 00:28:03,680 --> 00:28:07,240 And the Sovereign ordered that a special Courier should carry the flea, 261 00:28:07,360 --> 00:28:11,040 and that Lefty should go with him. 262 00:28:12,040 --> 00:28:14,800 [Don't drink too little, Don't drink too much, But drink in moderation.] 263 00:28:18,320 --> 00:28:22,200 Along the river Along the way to Kazanka, 264 00:28:22,320 --> 00:28:26,160 The gray drake swims. 265 00:28:26,320 --> 00:28:30,080 "Ai, luli, luli, C'est tres joli." 266 00:28:30,200 --> 00:28:34,240 The gray drake swims. 267 00:28:46,040 --> 00:28:49,680 Along the banks and along the broad coast 268 00:28:49,800 --> 00:28:53,440 The good fellow goes! 269 00:28:53,600 --> 00:28:57,200 "Ai, luli, luli, C'est tres joli." 270 00:28:57,320 --> 00:29:01,120 The good fellow goes! 271 00:29:08,440 --> 00:29:12,120 He had curls, He had fair hair 272 00:29:12,240 --> 00:29:16,160 The lad spoke: 273 00:29:16,320 --> 00:29:20,200 "Ai, luli, luli, C'est tres joli." 274 00:29:20,320 --> 00:29:24,240 The lad spoke. 275 00:29:39,240 --> 00:29:42,400 "Good work," said the English artisans, 276 00:29:42,480 --> 00:29:45,200 "subtly done, with vision." 277 00:29:50,920 --> 00:29:54,280 The Englishmen began to clap Lefty on the shoulder, slap-slap, 278 00:29:54,320 --> 00:29:56,240 and shook hands with him as an equal, 279 00:29:56,360 --> 00:29:58,480 "Comrade," they said, "comrade - fine craftsman. 280 00:29:58,600 --> 00:30:00,080 Let's have a drink!" 281 00:30:10,520 --> 00:30:14,480 "Comrade, stay here with us. We'll give you a good education 282 00:30:14,760 --> 00:30:18,440 and you'll become a wonderful craftsman." 283 00:30:25,000 --> 00:30:28,800 The English went to show Lefty their factories 284 00:30:28,880 --> 00:30:31,680 and their skill in making things. 285 00:30:45,520 --> 00:30:49,680 Lefty wasn't so interested in the way they made new muskets 286 00:30:49,760 --> 00:30:51,760 "We can make them as well as that." 287 00:30:51,880 --> 00:30:55,760 as he was in the condition of the old ones. 288 00:30:56,640 --> 00:30:58,960 [Past their use. Written off] 289 00:30:59,520 --> 00:31:03,200 Whenever he came across an old musket he'd stick his finger in the muzzle, 290 00:31:03,320 --> 00:31:06,520 run it round the walls of the barrel and say: 291 00:31:07,280 --> 00:31:12,760 "Oh, the English do not clean their guns with bricks." 292 00:31:18,640 --> 00:31:25,600 [Pounded Bricks for Cleaning Guns] 293 00:31:26,080 --> 00:31:28,400 [Past their use. Written off] 294 00:31:28,480 --> 00:31:33,920 "That", he said, "beats ours by a long shot." 295 00:31:40,840 --> 00:31:43,360 "Comrade, comrade! 296 00:31:43,480 --> 00:31:45,760 Stay with us. 297 00:31:45,840 --> 00:31:48,040 "You'll get used to it," they said, 298 00:31:48,160 --> 00:31:52,560 "accept our faith and we'll find you a wife." 299 00:32:05,320 --> 00:32:08,880 "If you want, we'll arrange a rendezvous for you." 300 00:32:09,200 --> 00:32:13,360 "Why", said Lefty, "trouble the girls for nothing? 301 00:32:13,520 --> 00:32:16,840 A rendezvous is for gentlemen and doesn't become us. 302 00:32:16,920 --> 00:32:19,160 This can never be. 303 00:32:19,240 --> 00:32:21,760 We are committed to our Motherland and 304 00:32:21,880 --> 00:32:25,280 our Russian faith is the true faith." 305 00:33:36,800 --> 00:33:41,360 "Comrade, comrade! Stay with us." 306 00:33:43,880 --> 00:33:46,560 "I thank you humbly for your hospitality, 307 00:33:46,720 --> 00:33:48,640 I've been very pleased with everything 308 00:33:48,720 --> 00:33:52,200 but now I want to get home." 309 00:34:02,240 --> 00:34:09,520 [Duroterranean Sea]* *North Sea 310 00:34:26,560 --> 00:34:30,680 "Where is our Russia?" Lefty asked. 311 00:34:56,960 --> 00:35:01,200 "Good boy, Russ! Let's have a drink," said the skipper's mate. 312 00:35:01,440 --> 00:35:03,080 And then he asked: 313 00:35:03,200 --> 00:35:07,040 "What's the secret you're taking back to Russia from our country?" 314 00:35:07,520 --> 00:35:10,240 "That's my business," answered Lefty. 315 00:35:10,360 --> 00:35:14,200 "If it's that way," said the mate, "then let's make a bet, English fashion." 316 00:35:14,400 --> 00:35:17,520 "How?" asked Lefty. "We bet never to drink alone 317 00:35:17,640 --> 00:35:21,120 but always together and the same drink; 318 00:35:21,240 --> 00:35:24,160 and whoever outdrinks the other wins the bet." 319 00:35:27,640 --> 00:35:31,360 Lefty thought to himself, "the sky's cloudy, my belly's rowdy, 320 00:35:31,440 --> 00:35:34,560 I'm bored to death, there's a long way left, 321 00:35:34,680 --> 00:35:37,280 the bet'll make me cheer up a bit." 322 00:35:37,840 --> 00:35:39,680 "All right, it's a go." 323 00:35:44,080 --> 00:35:48,960 [Riga Dunamunde] 324 00:36:07,680 --> 00:36:12,840 "What's the secret you're taking back to Russia from our country?" 325 00:36:12,920 --> 00:36:15,320 asked the skipper's mate. 326 00:36:15,440 --> 00:36:19,360 "That's my business," answered Lefty. 327 00:36:31,040 --> 00:36:33,480 "Cross yourself and turn away, 328 00:36:33,600 --> 00:36:36,280 there's a black devil rising out of the deep." 329 00:36:36,400 --> 00:36:40,200 "No! He's a red and watery-eyed sea-puss." 330 00:36:46,560 --> 00:36:48,480 "No, a black storm-devil." 331 00:36:50,240 --> 00:36:52,600 "No, red and watery-eyed." 332 00:37:06,880 --> 00:37:10,560 [St. Petersburg] 333 00:37:16,080 --> 00:37:19,880 From then on, Lefty and the skipper's mate 334 00:37:20,000 --> 00:37:22,800 suffered greatly different fates. 335 00:37:23,080 --> 00:37:28,600 The Englishman was taken to the English Embassy on the English Quay, 336 00:37:29,040 --> 00:37:33,440 but Lefty was asked, "who are you and where have you come from? 337 00:37:33,600 --> 00:37:37,320 Have you got a passport or any other document?" 338 00:37:37,440 --> 00:37:40,720 "Take him to the hospital!" ordered the policeman. 339 00:37:56,240 --> 00:38:00,360 They took him to one hospital but they wouldn't accept him without a passport, 340 00:38:00,480 --> 00:38:03,520 so they took him to a second, where they wouldn't accept him either, 341 00:38:03,640 --> 00:38:06,960 then a third and a fourth 342 00:38:07,080 --> 00:38:12,120 and so they kept on until morning, dragging him round all the distant alleys 343 00:38:12,360 --> 00:38:15,120 until he was beaten all black and blue. 344 00:38:15,520 --> 00:38:20,200 The skipper's mate, meanwhile, was lying in a warm bath in the Embassy. 345 00:38:20,320 --> 00:38:24,960 The apothecary there and then rolled a pill and put it in his mouth. 346 00:38:37,200 --> 00:38:41,440 "Tell the Sovereign that the English don't clean their guns with brick-dust!" 347 00:38:44,080 --> 00:38:46,440 The policeman took Lefty 348 00:38:46,560 --> 00:38:49,360 to the Obuhov People's Hospital 349 00:38:49,520 --> 00:38:54,320 where all people of unknown origin were allowed in to die. 350 00:39:07,040 --> 00:39:10,720 OBUHOV PEOPLE'S HOSPITAL 351 00:40:15,160 --> 00:40:18,960 "Tell the Sovereign that the English don't clean their guns with brick-dust; 352 00:40:19,040 --> 00:40:21,360 we shouldn't clean them that way, either, 353 00:40:21,440 --> 00:40:26,720 for if there should be a war, God forbid, they will not be fit to fire." 354 00:40:27,440 --> 00:40:31,720 "Tell the Sovereign that the English don't clean their guns with brick-dust!" 355 00:40:48,000 --> 00:40:52,120 "Tell the Sovereign that the English don't clean their guns with brick-dust; 356 00:40:52,240 --> 00:40:55,160 we shouldn't clean them that way, either." 357 00:41:10,920 --> 00:41:14,280 "The English don't clean their guns with brick-dust; 358 00:41:14,360 --> 00:41:16,240 we shouldn't clean them that way, either, 359 00:41:16,320 --> 00:41:20,760 for if there should be a war, God forbid, they will not be fit to fire." 360 00:41:20,800 --> 00:41:22,800 "And who are you?! 361 00:41:22,920 --> 00:41:24,880 Keep your nose out of what doesn't concern you - 362 00:41:24,920 --> 00:41:28,120 there are generals in Russia for that!" 363 00:41:58,080 --> 00:42:02,240 All this is now "a matter of bygone days," 364 00:42:02,480 --> 00:42:04,800 Lefty's real name, 365 00:42:04,920 --> 00:42:08,200 like the names of many of the greatest geniuses, 366 00:42:08,320 --> 00:42:11,560 is forever lost to posterity; 367 00:42:12,000 --> 00:42:17,040 but as a myth personified by popular fantasy, 368 00:42:17,160 --> 00:42:19,520 he is remembered by us now 369 00:42:19,640 --> 00:42:23,320 with great pride and love. 370 00:42:23,440 --> 00:42:26,320 [Tula city] THE END 371 00:42:26,360 --> 00:42:28,040 Subs by Eus, Pepi (2018) & Niffiwan (2021), based on Rus. subs by Bornik, 372 00:42:28,080 --> 00:42:30,160 and on the translations by Isabel F. Hapgood (1890) & George H. Hanna (1958)