SOYUZMULTFILM, 1955
AN EXTRAORDINARY MATCH
directed by Boris Dyоzhkin, Mstislav Pashchenko written by Mstislav Pashchenko
Dear children!
In the toy department of a certain store something extraordinary happened.
Among the wonderful, well-crafted toys
there appeared a box of lesser quality wooden football players.
Onto this box, without any justification, someone stuck a label with the words "1st grade".
And of course, the toys inside it became ridiculously proud.
They began to behave in such a way that...
But why tell you all this? See for yourselves what happened.
Football Players. 1st grade.
Who's in there?
Hare was hit on the head!
Where are we? Rabbits, nested dolls...
Ugh!
There isn't even anyone to train with!
Oh, you fool!
If we have the label "football players", and "1st grade" to boot,
why, then, should we need to train?
We're already professionals! Got it?
Got it!
Come on!
In the stationery counter area there have appeared some unknown, comma,
but seemingly very famous football players, comma,
I am keeping tabs on them, comma, tell Vovka at the stadium about it, full-stop.
Telegraph
Mama!
Adjust a little bit more. There, that's good!
How charming! Famous masters of sports!
Champions, marathon runners...
Well done! Now that's what I like!
Move aside...
SST Section of Soft Toys
If you take up a task all together,
You can build a house high as the sky!
But if you quarrel in every weather,
Everyone's interest soon will die!
Now, if a task you want done fast,
Words aren't what you need.
Gather, rather, all together, And go and roll up your sleeves!
Circus
Guys! Some famous footballers have arrived at our store!
Let's invite them to play a match!
Hooray!
- Do you agree? - Yes, we agree, we agree!
We need to prepare the stadium.
It's time to start training!
Please come in...
The Section of Soft Toys invites you to a match.
Eagles!
Listen! The section of soft, plump toys challenges us to a match!
Us, the great masters, some soft-bodied toys
are challenging to a match!
Well, we will have to answer them!
Where are you going?
To send a telegram...
We can do without your telegram!
Let's take a cannon!
Fire!
"We'll play at exactly 10:00 am. We will beat you! Captain of the football players - Chubik Zaznayka (swank)"
We are the best football players in the world!
A first-class team!
We are masters and professionals!
No football players are better than us!
Just hold on, miserable fusspots!
Sawdust will pour out from your innards,
Sawdust and rubbish!
Come on, Vovka, come on!
That's right!
You know, Lucy, the game's probably already started, but I'm still hanging here...
and I can't do anything about it. The pushpin holds me in place.
You call these pushpins? They're not worthy of the name!
You just twist around a bit, and it'll break right away.
How lovely! See, they're kissing!
There we go...
Wait a minute! Your nose... good!
Leg... smile... attention... snap!
- Down with Chubik! - Down with Zaznayka!
11-meter penalty kick...
- Roughnecks off the field! - Off the field!
Do a nice, long running start!
What's the score?
Give us a new goal gate!
Not that! Take the other, the smaller one!
MILK
Goodness gracious! What's happening now?
It seems the captain's beginning to lose his head!
Remove the keeper from the goal gate!
Look! Look!
Well, that's all, lads.
Is there a point to learn? Let's try.
The answer's crystal-clear, so hearken!
He who turns up his nose too high Will often see his prospects darken!
The End (subs: Gleb21, Eus - 2012, Niffiwan - 2022)