SOYUZMULTFILM
ABOUT SIDOROV VOVA
As a boy, Vova had gotten Rather awfully spoiled rotten.
He was clean and tenderfooted,
And to hardships quite unsuited.
Right from sunrise it would start:
"Give me this" and "give me that".
"Put me on the horse right now."
"Look at me, or I will howl!"
From his grandma's side, his mother Fried one pancake after another.
Grandma, from his mother's side, Taught him scales - or tried.
[Children's World]
And the grandpa he adored, Dressed up in a warm fur coat,
A whole hour, or maybe four, Roamed the big Children's World store.
The right connections grandpa had To buy jeans for the young lad.
To fulfill his fancies, The boy's uncles and aunties
Would do everything, and more: They would bake cakes by the score,
They competed, and they raced
To gift bicycles and skates.
Why was that?
Oh, very simple. No secret to anyone:
'Twas a house of many adults, But the children numbered "one".
But the years do seem to race,
Not like in the former days.
One year passed. And then the next.
The time came to leave his nest
And make discipline his friend In the Red Army's command.
Vova went to the army...
...and took all his family.
Remember, Hup-two!
I'll come back in two winters...
At his army unit's post Vova arrives. "Hello!
That's me, And this is my mummy.
We'll serve together, I'll have it known...
'Cause I can't do a thing on my own."
They sent the marshal a telegram.
Recruit Sidorov brought his mother with him.
The lieutenant got the telegram.
"Allo! Allo!"
Recruit Sidorov brought his mother with him.
He wants her to serve with him.
He was afraid to deliver the message.
One hour passed. And another.
Woe! No answer from Moscow.
"Okay," said the colonel, steeling his nerve,
"Let it be as you wish. Go and serve."
Company!
Hup, two, three! Hup, two, three!
That same day, following his ma...
...Along came his grandpapa,
Grandma with a pillow for his head,
And auntie with a folding bed.
"Without us, our child will be dead.
A plane will fall on his head."
Company, wake up!
From sun-rise to sun's last ray - That's a soldier's working day.
Here, everything's made up of unwritten rules.
Can't do it? We'll teach you.
Don't want to? We'll make you.
We must all remember, No matter what the chore:
It goes hard in the learning, But easy in the war.
[Warrior! Be attentive!]
Marusya, hup-two-three, The guelder rose, the black-haired girl
Was picking berries in the garden...
Marusya, hup-two-three, The guelder rose, the black-haired girl
Was picking berries in the garden...
[Art Is for the People]
A moveable feast, so I am told,
"Lights out" is called.
It is true what people say:
A sleeping soldier's still serving away!
Morning. Training ground. Cadets.
A whole sea of epaulettes.
Music, sun... beyond all doubt - Vova's squad is heading out!
Full of pep, he marches off, Our lad Vova Sidorov.
Just a hat is all he wears - All the rest, his auntie bears.
O'er his shoulder, a baguette - Food for when he breaks a sweat.
With him, one after another, Walk his aunt, grandma and mother.
And off to one side, of course, Grandpapa on his grey horse
Covers Sidorov's right flank. (His left's covered by a tank.)
And so, meter after meter, They walk one whole kilometer.
Mother sees hay lying about,
...and commands, "A break! Time out!"
The grandparents already Are getting lunch ready...
And feed Vova, their child, One spoonful at a time.
One for mama.
One for papa.
One spoonful for the sergeant.
And for the colonel No less than a ladle.
Once the lunch was fully eaten, It was time to have a meeting.
About battles, about marches, About military actions.
"Who will we send on reconnaissance?"
"Why, Grandma and Grandpa, of course.
Like two backpackers they'll rough it, Crawl 300 kilometers, roughly...
...to find out where the rockets are hidden...
...and other such secrets forbidden."
No, no.
"Who will be on defence, while they're gone?"
"Give a call to Uncle Andron.
He's a brewery guard, works at night -
He will shoot all the bad guys on sight.
You must call Nephew Victor right now.
And call Pyotr Kuzmich, I avow.
Go and find Uncle Igor at once.
Boris, Zina, Simon...
...call them all."
You have left your native shore...
"Oh, and Vova? Don't trouble the lad.
He's our only reward, our one joy.
So we need to guard our little boy.
Give Mama a machine gun, instead!"
The division never was so embarrassed.
Then came a telegram.
Only one line:
Get rid of all the extra people. Full-stop.
Yes, that Vova Sidorov Had some great traits to show off:
Briefly put, he was obtuse,
Lazy, dumb, and of no use.
It's good that other soldiers, mind...
...are boys of an absolutely different kind...
...they can stand on guard 24 hours...
...sail on a boat in stormy seas...
[Shooting Gallery]
...hit any target true...
...and never, ever fail you. - Stop! Left face!
"If everyone was spoiled like Vova..."
"...then our country would've long since been conquered."
"But trust the word of a soldier:
We will straighten out even a Vova."
Right face!
Quick march!
I really need tender letters, Script: Eduard Uspenskiy, Eduard Nazarov
I will learn them all by heart. Director & Art Director: Eduard Nazarov
In two winters, in two springs, Camera: Mihail Druyan, Sound: Boris Filchikov
I'll serve and then I'll come back home. Animators: N. Bogomolova, G. Zebrova, E. Maslova, A. Abarenov, D. Kulikov, Yu. Kozyurin
Remember: in two, in two winters, Ass. Director: T. Lytko, Artists: V. Chuguyevskiy, I. Oleynikov, G. Morozov,
In two, in two springs, Ye. Kachkova, V. Makina, A. Chistova Montage: M. Miheyeva, Narrator: S. Yurskiy
I will serve, Script Editor: Raisa Frichinskaya Production Director: V. Yegorshin
I'll serve and then I'll come back home. THE END
Soyuzmultfilm, 1985 (subtitles - Niffiwan & FBJ, 2023)