CONTRACT
Based on the short story by Robert Silverberg ("Company Store", 1959)
And they told me this planet was uninhabited...
"Nothing very dangerous"
Pardon me, sir,
May I offer you this Force-Field Generator?
Turn it on!
I can't give you anything but love, baby
Permit me to introduce myself, sir...
I am QBF-41, a new model of space-travelling sales robot.
Thanks, my friend! If not for you...
My firm's representatives assured me that this planet was uninhabited.
Actually, those creatures are not native to this land.
Then how'd they get here?
Through my direct action, sir.
Are you kidding?
A sales robot's hardware lacks a sense-of-humor module.
In its place I have one extra module of pol...
Politeness... politeness... politeness...
Diamond bracelets Woolworth doesn't sell, baby
Till that lucky day you know darned well, baby
They almost ate me!
But as you likely noticed sir, I had the situation fully under control,
Under control?!
And I intervened when matters became serious.
Get out of here!
Go on!
Take your damn shield and go away!
As you wish, sir...
At your service... delighted to have met you, very sorry, etc., etc.
"Matter-Transmitter. Handle with care. Install immediately"
"All necessities of life will be sent via matter-transmitter without cost"
Uh-huh...
The Earth Office greets you and congratulates you on your arrival.
Would you care to make your first order now?
Well, I haven't even unpacked, you know, but...
But... yes!
Send me some razor blades and shaving cream, would you?
Okay... okay... The company sends its best wishes.
Pardon me, sir.
I carry a first-rate depilating paste: "Gloglam"
I told you to go away. Did you hear me?
Go away!
Smooth skin! Thorough disinfection!
Twelve units! Only for...
No. No, and... no!
I'll soon get my goods from Terra, absolutely free. Beat it!
Tell you what...
I'll take the liberty of also offering you a free sample!
- Beat it! - Free!
Beat it, beat it!
Hmm...
Are you satisfied, sir?
Your stuff really is... first-rate
How many tubes will you take?
For now, one tube.
Here you are!
Your machine has a shipment for you, sir!
"Razor blades, as ordered..."
"Shaving cream..."
"Charge for transportation..."
"50..."
Hello. The Company congratulates you on your first purchase!
Excuse me, but... you've sent me razor blades... and a bill...
"Charge for transportation - 50 Interplanetary Units"!
50?!
Yes, 50.
But I was told that you'd ship my supplies out free of charge.
Free of charge!
...on the company's account. It's the main article in the contract!
The contract says: "all necessities of life".
It makes no mention of free supply of luxuries
The Company would go bankrupt if it began satisfying all the whims of the colonists.
Whims?! I need to shave, don't I?
Not necessarily. Let your beard grow, it'll look good on you!
Never! Take these damned things back and cancel the requisition.
By the way, some trading robot wandered through here...
...and sold me a tube of depilating paste.
So, if you please, pay him!
You must immediately cancel that purchase!
Purchasing supplies from anyone but the Company is a gross violation of your contract!
It makes you subject to heavy penalty!
Why, that's... that's pure fraud! Thievery! Slavery!
You hereby receive a caution for slandering the Company!
Hear that, friend? Sorry. You saw everything.
I got caught in a trap. I have no money to pay.
Well, well, well...
It's okay! Just take it, don't bother about the money.
You need to shave the rest of your face, don't you?
Sales Robot QBF-41
You hereby receive a caution for violating the sales rules
Yeah... I'd say you're on the hook, too!
You hereby receive a second caution for collaborating with a rival company!
You hereby receive a second caution for accepting a rival company's services.
Hey, dude. Now we're even! The score is 2:2
Oh, no. This the end... the end... sense of humor, this is the end
They don't forgive anyone for it.
Disconnecting you from the power supply.
In accordance with the terms of the Contract...
Oh yeah?!... Take that!
"Emergency Power Supply Unit. Open only as a last resort."
Gee, I'd like to see you looking swell,
Diamond bracelets Woolworth doesn't sell, A-la-la-la-la...
Can't give you anything, anything...
...but la-la-la-la-la-la-la la-la-love...
Can't give you...
...anything but love.
Mama...
That's the only thing pops got plenty of!
Dream a while, scheme a while,
We're sure to find,
Happiness, and I guess
(All those things you've always pined for)
Well, I can see you're looking sharp!
You're crazy! Your circuits will burn out! You...
You will be out of commission!
Not to worry, not to worry. I can endure. I'm made of steel.
Nevertheless, I fear for you!
Don't worry. I've installed an extra switch in myself.
So, every so often, I will switch off... like a fridge!
That was a good joke, wasn't it?
All this... all this...
I'm all shook up!
Can't give you anything,
Anything but love, yeah!...
Oh yes, thank you folks!
screenwriter Viktor Slavkin director Vladimir Tarason
art director Nikolay Koshkin camera Kabul Rasulov
sound Vladimir Kutuov ass. director T. Mititello
animators Aleksandr Mazayev, Yuriy Kuzyurin, Aleksey Bukin,
Yuriy Kulakov, Tenno-pent So'oster backgrounds Irina Sobyakina, Svetlana Davydova
montage Margarita Miheyeva script editor Yelena Nikitkina
voices Aleksandr Kaydanovskiy (colonist) Yevgeniy Steblov (QBF-41)
Boris Ivanov (company rep) Vasiliy Livanov (alien company rep)
THE END subs by Niffiwan, Eus, Алекс Кэрролл