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Subtitles for The Bathhouse (1962)

English
February 19 2023 10:59:46
Created by Animation Obsessive, Eus, Guy Daniels, Julie A. Cassiday, Kathleen Cook-Horujy, Niffiwan, Chapaev₂
Banya.1962.en.1.25fps.1676804386.srt ⭳
Quality: good

Subtitled by Animation Obsessive in 2023 (uploaded to Youtube), then edited a bit by Niffiwan to break up long lines and correct a few mistakes. Based on earlier April 2016 subs by Eus from Chapaev's 2014 Russian transcription, and the subs uploaded to Youtube in 2019 (as hard-subs) by TignoBaiser. These subtitles rely a lot on the Cook-Horujy 1987 version and

Most of the character and location names come from Kathleen Cook-Horujy's 1987 translation of Mayakovksy's play, published under the title "The Big Clean-Up." The original names are usually Russian puns and jokes that don't carry over when translated literally. The other literary translations used are those of Guy Daniels ("The Bathhouse", 1968) and Julie A. Cassiday ("Flash Floods, Bedbugs and Saunas", 1998).

In the film and original play, Pont Kitsch speaks in gibberish that's somewhere between Russian and English. To create the effect, Mayakovsky constructed "English" sentences out of assorted Russian words that vaguely sound like English ones. The audience heard nonsense with a double meaning in Russian and English. It's not really possible to capture the effect in translation, so Cook-Horujy rendered Pont Kitsch's dialogue phonetically, and these subtitles do the same.

Video preview(s): Multiplier is 1.
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The text content of the file is:

1 00:00:00,175 --> 00:00:05,067 Production of Soyuzmultfilm's Association of Puppet Films 2 00:00:05,179 --> 00:00:07,337 IF EVERY BUREAUCRAT 3 00:00:07,464 --> 00:00:09,579 WAS STEAMED AND CLEANED, TO START, 4 00:00:09,699 --> 00:00:11,742 THE WORKER'S BROOM 5 00:00:11,920 --> 00:00:14,043 WOULD BE LIKE THE BRUSH OF ART 6 00:00:14,203 --> 00:00:16,233 VLADIMIR MAYAKOVSKY 7 00:00:16,451 --> 00:00:18,455 THE BATHHOUSE 8 00:00:32,787 --> 00:00:34,334 INSPECTED 9 00:00:44,104 --> 00:00:49,903 "BROCOLOPS" - BRanch Of COordination and Liaison OPerationS 10 00:00:50,339 --> 00:00:55,429 Trying to squeeze their invention, a time machine, through this jungle: 11 00:00:55,559 --> 00:00:58,598 Comrades Strangefellow and Cyclero. 12 00:01:38,472 --> 00:01:42,581 Comrade Blockway, we're here to see the CHOCOLOPS (Chief of BROCOLOPS). 13 00:01:42,717 --> 00:01:45,223 You mean Comrade Conquerbonce? 14 00:01:45,495 --> 00:01:47,399 I don't think so. 15 00:01:47,893 --> 00:01:48,893 Strangefellow... 16 00:01:49,453 --> 00:01:50,931 Strangefellow? 17 00:01:52,133 --> 00:01:53,755 Who's Strangefellow? 18 00:01:54,256 --> 00:01:57,247 Strangefellow is the inventor. 19 00:01:57,486 --> 00:02:02,434 There are lots of inventors, but only one CHOCOLOPS. 20 00:02:02,582 --> 00:02:04,334 NO ADMISSION 21 00:02:04,514 --> 00:02:06,854 Try back next Friday. 22 00:02:09,807 --> 00:02:13,426 HOTEL METROPOL MOSCOW 23 00:02:15,165 --> 00:02:18,697 ENTRANCE 24 00:02:23,290 --> 00:02:27,159 Mr. Pont Kitsch, a British Anglo-Saxon. 25 00:02:27,293 --> 00:02:31,054 And his interpreter: Madame Misalliance. 26 00:03:01,531 --> 00:03:06,937 "CONCORDIA" - WINE, COGNAC, LIQUEUR 27 00:03:07,067 --> 00:03:11,809 THE ONLY THING LEFT FROM THE OLD WORLD IS IRA CIGARETTES 28 00:03:11,934 --> 00:03:16,898 NOWHERE BUT IN MOSSELPROM 29 00:04:55,978 --> 00:04:58,616 Fur-lined brassieres! 30 00:04:59,453 --> 00:05:01,949 Fur-lined brassieres! 31 00:05:16,301 --> 00:05:19,361 What does a wife get up to when her husband's away? 32 00:05:19,486 --> 00:05:22,997 105 funny stories by the late Count Leo Tolstoy! 33 00:05:23,122 --> 00:05:27,518 Down to 15 kopecks from a ruble twenty! 34 00:05:27,816 --> 00:05:30,166 Sausage-shaped balloons! 35 00:05:30,296 --> 00:05:32,128 Fly to the moon! 36 00:05:32,253 --> 00:05:33,854 Here you are, citizens! 37 00:05:53,954 --> 00:05:57,606 Forgotten and abandoned early on, 38 00:05:57,742 --> 00:06:00,972 I've been left an orphan, without a single slice of joy 39 00:06:01,093 --> 00:06:04,255 I've been left an orphan, without a single slice of joy 40 00:06:04,472 --> 00:06:08,983 Here! Lapshin matches burn like the sun and moon! 41 00:06:14,321 --> 00:06:19,436 SECRET, the SociEty for Cultural RElaTions 42 00:06:19,824 --> 00:06:22,830 And its chairman: Ivan Ivanovich. 43 00:06:26,951 --> 00:06:29,332 Artist Isak Beauxarts. 44 00:06:31,796 --> 00:06:36,083 Portraitist, painter of battles, naturalist. 45 00:07:15,056 --> 00:07:19,606 Would you care to take a look at your future furnishings? 46 00:07:20,712 --> 00:07:22,304 Show me. 47 00:07:23,177 --> 00:07:24,591 With pleasure. 48 00:07:24,719 --> 00:07:29,399 A famous historian once said that there are various Louises in style. 49 00:07:29,524 --> 00:07:33,063 Here's Louis Quatorze the Fourteenth, 50 00:07:33,164 --> 00:07:36,514 so-called by the French after the revolution of 1848 51 00:07:36,638 --> 00:07:40,183 because he came directly after Louis the Thirteenth. 52 00:07:40,626 --> 00:07:43,752 Then there's Louis Jacob. 53 00:07:44,973 --> 00:07:51,195 And finally, if I may recommend this most modern of options: 54 00:07:51,493 --> 00:07:54,157 Louis Mauvais Goût. 55 00:07:58,310 --> 00:08:00,995 Announcing Mr. Pont Kitsch! 56 00:08:02,478 --> 00:08:03,478 Please. 57 00:08:23,562 --> 00:08:28,092 Have you been to England, Mr. Pont Kitsch? I have. 58 00:08:28,217 --> 00:08:32,889 It's terribly interesting. Englishmen everywhere... 59 00:08:33,014 --> 00:08:36,187 I bought a cap in Liverpool, 60 00:08:36,312 --> 00:08:42,703 and visited the house where Aunty Dühring used to live. 61 00:09:11,687 --> 00:09:15,475 Mr. Pont Kitsch is well known in London as a philatelist. 62 00:09:15,600 --> 00:09:19,647 A -- how you say -- "stamp collector." 63 00:09:19,707 --> 00:09:23,958 And he's very, very interested in chemical plants, 64 00:09:24,059 --> 00:09:27,009 aviation and art in general. 65 00:09:27,133 --> 00:09:31,796 He's a very, very cultured and sociable man. 66 00:09:31,921 --> 00:09:33,602 Vous comprenez (understand)? 67 00:09:33,682 --> 00:09:39,523 We must open... a broad campaign! 68 00:10:06,031 --> 00:10:09,105 That's Monsieur Dashitoff, a collaborator. 69 00:10:09,306 --> 00:10:14,618 A collaborator in the pre-revolutionary and post-revolutionary press. 70 00:10:14,789 --> 00:10:20,799 Although he somehow missed out on the revolutionary press. 71 00:10:21,118 --> 00:10:26,521 Comrade Dashitoff, we must launch a broad campaign! 72 00:10:44,509 --> 00:10:48,977 Ai yenot pereperchil oi zveri izobreteishen. 73 00:10:49,053 --> 00:10:51,586 STRANGEFELLOW, INVENTOR TAGANSKAYA STREET, 28 74 00:11:21,101 --> 00:11:22,743 My idea is grand in scale. 75 00:11:22,844 --> 00:11:27,694 I will make time stand still or race in any direction at any speed. 76 00:11:51,395 --> 00:11:53,025 Do you speak English? 77 00:11:53,101 --> 00:11:56,171 Sprechen Sie Deutsch? Parlez-vous français, at least? 78 00:11:56,296 --> 00:11:57,889 God, you're tiresome. 79 00:11:58,014 --> 00:12:02,848 I'll have to translate our language into your worker and peasant lingo. 80 00:12:02,973 --> 00:12:10,455 Hello, dear comrades. We have a crying need for our own Red Soviet Edison. 81 00:12:22,701 --> 00:12:25,498 Hello, dear comrades. 82 00:12:25,805 --> 00:12:29,625 Mr. Pont Kitsch is such a cultured, sociable gentleman. 83 00:12:29,726 --> 00:12:31,626 He even told us your address. 84 00:12:44,715 --> 00:12:48,822 He's smelled us out, the nosy rat. 85 00:13:34,610 --> 00:13:38,706 A yenot v Indostan, pereperchil oi zveri izobreteishen! 86 00:13:38,823 --> 00:13:43,324 Mr. Pont Kitsch means that, in his foggy homeland, everyone... 87 00:13:43,449 --> 00:13:48,878 ...from MacDonald to Churchill is ravenously curious about your device. 88 00:13:49,003 --> 00:13:54,393 Ah, certainly, certainly. My invention belongs to all mankind. 89 00:14:24,427 --> 00:14:27,205 For the first time in human history... 90 00:14:29,253 --> 00:14:30,267 Stand back. 91 00:14:32,126 --> 00:14:33,448 Stand back! 92 00:14:35,660 --> 00:14:37,218 I'm switching it on! 93 00:15:30,045 --> 00:15:32,032 Cheer and frolic, comrades... 94 00:15:32,357 --> 00:15:34,051 Have a look at this. 95 00:15:34,176 --> 00:15:37,323 [VST 5.24.20] - It's a letter. 96 00:15:37,578 --> 00:15:42,151 A letter written fifty years from now. 97 00:15:42,241 --> 00:15:46,877 Do you understand? In the future! Read it! 98 00:15:47,002 --> 00:15:48,210 Read what? 99 00:15:48,335 --> 00:15:52,654 What is it, the telephone number of somebody named Comrade VST? 100 00:15:52,779 --> 00:15:57,603 It's not VST, it's "visit." They write only with consonants. 101 00:15:57,744 --> 00:16:01,934 The 24 is tomorrow's date. And 20 is the hour. 102 00:16:02,035 --> 00:16:07,247 He, she or it will arrive tomorrow at 8 p.m. 103 00:16:07,276 --> 00:16:11,694 To ensure a safe journey through time for our visitor, 104 00:16:11,819 --> 00:16:15,469 we need more people and money right away. 105 00:16:15,847 --> 00:16:21,844 Ded svel v rai tram iz dveri v dveri lez i ne doshol tugo. Dui Ivan. Chervontsli? 106 00:16:21,969 --> 00:16:24,164 Cash? Strangefellow doesn't give a damn about it. 107 00:16:24,289 --> 00:16:28,484 I've just been to the State Bank and come back loaded. 108 00:16:28,609 --> 00:16:30,229 All right, goodbye! 109 00:16:30,354 --> 00:16:32,815 Do show a little tact, I beg you. 110 00:16:32,940 --> 00:16:37,180 Your Young-Communist manners will land us in an international conflict! 111 00:16:37,305 --> 00:16:40,891 Yes, what we need is our own Soviet Edison. 112 00:16:41,013 --> 00:16:43,183 You boys don't have a telephone? 113 00:16:43,253 --> 00:16:47,925 Never mind, I won't forget to tell Nikander Piramidonovich. 114 00:16:48,986 --> 00:16:51,040 It's good that we've got the money. 115 00:16:51,180 --> 00:16:52,570 We don't have any. 116 00:16:52,653 --> 00:16:54,830 No money! Then why boast and brag like that? 117 00:16:54,950 --> 00:16:59,413 Even worse, you refused when that foreigner made a serious offer! 118 00:16:59,534 --> 00:17:02,277 You may be a genius, but you're an idiot, too. 119 00:17:02,397 --> 00:17:04,732 Do you want your idea to take shape in iron, 120 00:17:04,833 --> 00:17:09,933 flying back to us from England as a time-controlling dreadnought, 121 00:17:09,957 --> 00:17:12,761 invisibly destroying our plants and factories? 122 00:17:12,786 --> 00:17:13,885 How could I have... 123 00:17:14,010 --> 00:17:17,748 And you were even embracing him as he left. 124 00:17:17,773 --> 00:17:21,508 Don't be silly! I was embracing the film in his camera! 125 00:17:21,693 --> 00:17:23,293 Bravo, Cyclero! 126 00:17:23,819 --> 00:17:24,954 Come on, comrades! 127 00:17:25,055 --> 00:17:28,505 Let's take them by the scruff of the neck and force them to do something. 128 00:17:28,629 --> 00:17:32,489 I'll chew those officials up and spit out the buttons! 129 00:18:09,442 --> 00:18:14,540 CHOCOLOPS - CHief Of COordination and Liaison OPerationS 130 00:18:14,659 --> 00:18:17,141 NO WRITING ON WALLS | NO UNAUTHORIZED ENTRY 131 00:18:17,242 --> 00:18:19,092 NO TALKING | NO KIDS UNDER 16 132 00:18:19,216 --> 00:18:21,703 NOT IN SERVICE | NO DRINKING 133 00:18:21,828 --> 00:18:24,891 NO CONSPICUOUS BEHAVIOUR | NO TOUCHING 134 00:18:24,992 --> 00:18:28,042 NO PICKING FLOWERS 135 00:18:28,166 --> 00:18:33,344 NO SMOKING 136 00:18:33,506 --> 00:18:35,617 NO COMPLAINTS 137 00:18:35,763 --> 00:18:38,093 NO EXIT 138 00:18:38,247 --> 00:18:39,557 CLOSED 139 00:18:39,767 --> 00:18:41,621 And so, comrades, 140 00:18:41,781 --> 00:18:47,922 this tram's bold, urgent, revolutionary bell must ring out... 141 00:18:47,958 --> 00:18:54,128 ...like a great church bell in the heart of every worker and peasant! 142 00:18:54,287 --> 00:18:57,601 Today, the new Lenin Tramline will connect 143 00:18:57,602 --> 00:19:00,902 the Tenth Anniversary of Soviet Medicine Square 144 00:19:01,000 --> 00:19:06,721 with that former stronghold of the bourgeoisie, the Haymarket! 145 00:19:07,348 --> 00:19:11,443 Who traveled by tram before the October Revolution? 146 00:19:11,573 --> 00:19:14,995 Has-been intellectuals, priests, the upper class! 147 00:19:15,015 --> 00:19:18,533 What did they pay? Five kopecks per stop. 148 00:19:18,732 --> 00:19:20,418 Who will travel now? 149 00:19:20,443 --> 00:19:23,077 We, the workers of the universe, will travel now. 150 00:19:23,117 --> 00:19:23,968 And what will we pay? 151 00:19:24,093 --> 00:19:26,413 A mere ten kopecks. 152 00:19:33,501 --> 00:19:34,671 Hello? 153 00:19:34,731 --> 00:19:37,925 Comrade Blockway, this must end. 154 00:19:37,985 --> 00:19:41,146 We're going to the CHOCOLOPS himself. 155 00:19:41,959 --> 00:19:47,064 You don't need to disturb him. Everything is in order. 156 00:19:47,533 --> 00:19:51,768 A final decision has been reached on your application. 157 00:19:51,893 --> 00:19:53,474 A final decision! 158 00:19:53,733 --> 00:19:55,093 That's fantastic! 159 00:19:55,181 --> 00:19:57,244 So the bureaucrats have been beaten at last?! 160 00:19:57,293 --> 00:19:58,293 Hurrah! 161 00:20:09,434 --> 00:20:12,767 Presto, I've found your section. 162 00:20:13,398 --> 00:20:15,675 Presto, I've got your file. 163 00:20:16,453 --> 00:20:17,453 Presto... 164 00:20:44,252 --> 00:20:58,085 CHIEF ADMINISTRATOR DEPUTY CHIEFS CHIEF AIDES 165 00:21:10,844 --> 00:21:13,666 As promised, the final decision. 166 00:21:13,791 --> 00:21:14,986 REJECTED 167 00:21:17,789 --> 00:21:19,468 Where was I? 168 00:21:19,493 --> 00:21:22,154 We stopped on, "And so, comrades..." 169 00:21:22,233 --> 00:21:24,906 And so, Comrades, remember... 170 00:21:25,007 --> 00:21:30,657 ...that Leo Tolstoy is a grand and unforgettable painter of the written word. 171 00:21:30,757 --> 00:21:36,096 His legacy of the past shines down on us at the meeting-point of two worlds, 172 00:21:36,197 --> 00:21:39,897 like a colossal literary star, 173 00:21:40,021 --> 00:21:41,998 like a whole constellation -- 174 00:21:41,999 --> 00:21:46,499 like the biggest of the big constellations -- the Great Bear! 175 00:21:56,262 --> 00:21:59,067 Excuse me. You were writing about trams. 176 00:21:59,092 --> 00:22:03,636 But now you've let Leo Tolstoy on while the tram is still moving. 177 00:22:03,719 --> 00:22:04,719 What?! 178 00:22:04,798 --> 00:22:07,614 No comments, please! 179 00:22:07,641 --> 00:22:11,531 If you have self-criticisms to make, use the wall newspaper. 180 00:22:11,556 --> 00:22:18,359 Don't disrupt state activity with your ridiculous fancies! 181 00:22:18,465 --> 00:22:25,136 Ah, Comrade Beauxarts. Go right ahead. Make yourself at home. 182 00:22:25,608 --> 00:22:30,324 Allow me to continue with your portrait, and to immortalize you... 183 00:22:30,349 --> 00:22:36,673 ...as an innovative administrator, as well as a distributor of funds. 184 00:22:36,715 --> 00:22:39,368 I shall pose here at my desk. 185 00:22:39,469 --> 00:22:42,819 But perhaps you could paint me "in retrospect," 186 00:22:42,893 --> 00:22:45,075 sitting on horseback. 187 00:22:45,114 --> 00:22:48,541 I've already drawn a horse at home, from memory. 188 00:22:48,642 --> 00:22:52,692 Now I simply need to attach you to your steed. 189 00:22:52,916 --> 00:22:57,388 Let's see the line of your fighting leg. 190 00:22:57,413 --> 00:22:59,679 How that polished boot does shine. 191 00:22:59,853 --> 00:23:02,779 Shiny enough to lick! 192 00:23:10,280 --> 00:23:15,228 Yes, only in Michelangelo's work does one find such a clean line. 193 00:23:15,253 --> 00:23:16,977 Angelov? An Armenian? 194 00:23:17,110 --> 00:23:18,565 Italian. 195 00:23:18,830 --> 00:23:19,830 A fascist? 196 00:23:19,855 --> 00:23:20,855 Goodness, no! 197 00:23:21,020 --> 00:23:23,274 I don't know him. Does he know me? 198 00:23:23,649 --> 00:23:25,762 I don't know. He's an artist, too. 199 00:23:25,887 --> 00:23:28,676 He probably knows me in that case. 200 00:23:28,977 --> 00:23:33,677 After all, there are lots of artists, but only one CHOCOLOPS. 201 00:23:56,088 --> 00:23:58,172 What? Laughing?! 202 00:23:58,304 --> 00:24:00,976 And with painted lips to boot! 203 00:24:01,796 --> 00:24:02,796 OUT! 204 00:24:08,516 --> 00:24:12,413 "And under every leaflet, there was a place for her..." 205 00:24:12,538 --> 00:24:14,371 Comrade, try to understand us! 206 00:24:14,496 --> 00:24:17,137 If we don't move the experiment into the space above the town, 207 00:24:17,238 --> 00:24:20,638 there may even be an explosion! 208 00:24:32,656 --> 00:24:34,336 That's quite enough. 209 00:24:35,053 --> 00:24:38,343 Don't you go threatening a government body. 210 00:24:38,613 --> 00:24:40,946 Get it through your head, stupid! 211 00:24:41,213 --> 00:24:44,932 No personal remarks, please. 212 00:24:44,986 --> 00:24:50,276 The individual person plays no special role in history. 213 00:24:52,917 --> 00:25:01,445 SOON! SOON! SOON! MAYAKOVSKY'S THE BATHHOUSE A Soyuzmultfilm Production 214 00:25:06,524 --> 00:25:10,834 One moment, comrades! We will have to interrupt the film, 215 00:25:11,044 --> 00:25:13,751 due to reasons beyond our control. 216 00:25:14,339 --> 00:25:16,888 Comrade Conquerbonce himself 217 00:25:16,989 --> 00:25:21,289 has decided to watch an excerpt of our film. 218 00:25:23,973 --> 00:25:27,246 Please, come in. Please. 219 00:26:01,916 --> 00:26:03,086 HA-HA-HA! 220 00:26:06,094 --> 00:26:06,920 OUT! 221 00:26:07,045 --> 00:26:10,598 Life isn't like that! It's all laid on too thick! 222 00:26:10,725 --> 00:26:13,324 We don't have comrades like this! It's not natural! 223 00:26:13,449 --> 00:26:16,067 It's unrealistic! Unheard of! 224 00:26:16,545 --> 00:26:19,014 "The Bathhouse"! What is this "bathhouse"? 225 00:26:19,777 --> 00:26:21,785 Who's it washing? 226 00:26:21,845 --> 00:26:25,621 "The Bathhouse" washes, simply scrubs away, bureaucrats. 227 00:26:25,655 --> 00:26:31,850 "The Bathhouse" agitates for the future, for the inventor's initiative. 228 00:26:32,187 --> 00:26:36,035 You'll have to rewrite that part. Tone it down, poeticize it. 229 00:26:36,213 --> 00:26:37,813 Soften the contours. 230 00:26:38,613 --> 00:26:40,346 But, comrade, allow me -- 231 00:26:40,493 --> 00:26:42,298 I will not allow you! 232 00:26:42,413 --> 00:26:46,447 Why, it even discredits us before the whole of Europe! 233 00:26:48,013 --> 00:26:50,988 Don't translate that remark, please. 234 00:26:51,333 --> 00:26:52,542 It's all right. 235 00:26:54,155 --> 00:26:58,793 He just had some caviar at a banquet, and now he's a bit drowsy. 236 00:27:00,145 --> 00:27:02,499 Comrades, don't get us wrong. 237 00:27:03,093 --> 00:27:08,577 We simply want our art to serve the struggle and inspire positive action. 238 00:27:08,693 --> 00:27:11,241 People watch, and they get to work. 239 00:27:11,366 --> 00:27:13,553 They watch, and they awaken. 240 00:27:13,693 --> 00:27:16,151 They watch, and they uncover the truth. 241 00:27:16,276 --> 00:27:20,746 Your art isn't for the masses. Workers and peasants won't understand it! 242 00:27:20,800 --> 00:27:25,482 In fact, it's a good thing they won't, and you shouldn't explain it to them! 243 00:27:26,413 --> 00:27:31,688 Yes, yes! Art must portray life -- the beautiful life of beautiful real people. 244 00:27:31,813 --> 00:27:35,905 Show us some social butterflies on beautiful flowers, 245 00:27:36,009 --> 00:27:39,051 and a bit of bourgeois decadence all around. 246 00:27:39,910 --> 00:27:43,616 Or show us how people in the decaying West 247 00:27:43,717 --> 00:27:46,517 are struggling anew against the old ways. 248 00:27:46,627 --> 00:27:49,325 Yes, yes, yes! Give us something beautiful. 249 00:27:49,453 --> 00:27:53,140 The Bolshoi Theatre always gives us something beautiful. 250 00:27:53,373 --> 00:27:57,753 They flit about everywhere with flowers, singing and dancing. 251 00:27:57,853 --> 00:28:02,721 All kinds of elves, twelves and syphilis! 252 00:28:03,383 --> 00:28:05,712 You mean Sylphides? 253 00:29:39,526 --> 00:29:41,007 Bravo! Splendid! 254 00:29:41,032 --> 00:29:42,380 Now that was real art. 255 00:29:42,481 --> 00:29:46,831 It makes sense to me, to Ivan Ivanovich and to the masses. 256 00:29:47,127 --> 00:29:49,570 That's right! It was so infectious. 257 00:29:49,623 --> 00:29:53,512 Comrade Dashitoff, we must launch a broad campaign. 258 00:29:54,586 --> 00:29:58,183 Well, thank you. Goodbye for now. 259 00:29:58,320 --> 00:30:05,605 After such a graceful finale, I don't want to dawdle and spoil my impressions. 260 00:30:05,783 --> 00:30:08,347 Please accept my comradely best wishes! 261 00:30:12,333 --> 00:30:16,885 What's the name of that doll there? 262 00:30:17,611 --> 00:30:23,694 So tender and endowed with... talent. 263 00:30:23,893 --> 00:30:27,665 We must launch a broad campaign. 264 00:30:27,853 --> 00:30:31,316 Or maybe even a narrow one. 265 00:30:31,413 --> 00:30:34,940 Just me... and her. 266 00:30:41,300 --> 00:30:43,824 C. C. Conquerbonce 267 00:31:33,537 --> 00:31:35,826 NO ADMISSION EXCEPT ON BUSINESS 268 00:31:55,173 --> 00:31:58,411 So you're leaving? And what about me? 269 00:31:58,936 --> 00:32:03,126 You know that I saw them bringing you <i>two</i> tickets. 270 00:32:03,280 --> 00:32:07,115 That's enough of your petit bourgeois ideas about vacations. 271 00:32:07,195 --> 00:32:09,151 I'm not going there to sunbathe, you know. 272 00:32:09,252 --> 00:32:12,252 I always plan ahead for the current moment. 273 00:32:12,533 --> 00:32:15,133 And then, when I get there -- a speech, 274 00:32:15,453 --> 00:32:16,622 a report, 275 00:32:17,046 --> 00:32:18,170 a resolution, 276 00:32:18,295 --> 00:32:19,641 In short, socialism. 277 00:32:19,744 --> 00:32:24,019 And my public status entitles me by law to a stenographer. 278 00:32:24,144 --> 00:32:27,619 When did I ever interfere with your stenography? That's a laugh! 279 00:32:27,744 --> 00:32:29,214 Why try to fool me? 280 00:32:29,289 --> 00:32:33,808 Let me come along too, for God's sake, and stenograph all night if you want. 281 00:32:33,933 --> 00:32:34,939 Absurd. 282 00:32:34,994 --> 00:32:38,040 You'll compromise me with your disorganized outbursts! 283 00:32:38,141 --> 00:32:41,291 Especially this religious talk. "For God's sake," indeed! 284 00:32:41,365 --> 00:32:43,531 Shhh! Kozlyakovsky lives downstairs. 285 00:32:43,632 --> 00:32:49,082 He might tell Pavel Petrovich, who's friendly with Semyon Afanasievich. 286 00:33:06,885 --> 00:33:09,137 Heave, comrades, heave! 287 00:33:09,212 --> 00:33:12,668 We've got seconds, or disaster will be inevitable! 288 00:33:12,757 --> 00:33:15,387 The machine's growing heavier every second. 289 00:33:15,467 --> 00:33:21,366 I'm almost certain that a foreign body is materializing inside it! 290 00:33:46,642 --> 00:33:50,663 Polya, I forgot to hide my revolver. 291 00:33:50,930 --> 00:33:53,776 Remember, it's loaded, 292 00:33:54,133 --> 00:34:00,278 and to fire it all you have to do is release this safety catch. 293 00:34:00,357 --> 00:34:03,505 Well, goodbye, Polya! 294 00:34:55,804 --> 00:34:58,825 Conky-baby, how much longer? 295 00:34:58,934 --> 00:35:00,219 Shhh! 296 00:35:49,333 --> 00:35:51,053 Hello, comrades! 297 00:35:51,265 --> 00:35:54,413 I am a delegate from 2030. 298 00:35:54,784 --> 00:35:59,043 I've been switched into your present time for 24 hours. 299 00:35:59,173 --> 00:36:03,268 Time is short, and the task before us is extraordinary. 300 00:36:03,947 --> 00:36:05,402 Mandate... 301 00:36:05,791 --> 00:36:07,588 Ah, it's official! 302 00:36:08,470 --> 00:36:11,883 Authorization to select the best... 303 00:36:12,095 --> 00:36:15,349 for transfer to the Age of Communism. 304 00:36:15,428 --> 00:36:18,401 What's happening? My Lord, what's happening? 305 00:36:18,639 --> 00:36:22,819 BUREAU FOR SELECTION AND TRANSFER TO THE AGE OF COMMUNISM 306 00:36:34,522 --> 00:36:36,453 BOOK OF COMPLAINTS 307 00:36:36,638 --> 00:36:40,845 "I demand to skip the queue!" - Conquerbonce 308 00:36:41,173 --> 00:36:44,327 In connection with the transfer, I need to find out... 309 00:36:44,354 --> 00:36:47,021 my salary, my living quarters and so on! 310 00:36:47,573 --> 00:36:50,082 What's the matter, citizen? 311 00:36:50,373 --> 00:36:54,062 There's no need to disturb her. 312 00:37:02,533 --> 00:37:03,533 Comrades! 313 00:37:04,253 --> 00:37:09,472 We have been advancing towards each other, like two teams digging a tunnel, 314 00:37:09,573 --> 00:37:11,665 until we finally met today. 315 00:37:11,798 --> 00:37:17,180 I look in amazement at the giants of steel and earth -- 316 00:37:17,281 --> 00:37:22,018 grateful memories of them are still cherished in my time 317 00:37:22,119 --> 00:37:26,619 as models of communist construction and living. 318 00:37:26,790 --> 00:37:29,958 You are so busy working, you haven't time to stand back 319 00:37:30,059 --> 00:37:32,059 and admire your achievements. 320 00:37:32,133 --> 00:37:36,720 But I am glad to tell you of your greatness. 321 00:37:37,173 --> 00:37:39,706 Excuse me for interrupting, Comrade! 322 00:37:39,773 --> 00:37:43,138 What is the year of destination, and what is the speed? 323 00:37:43,213 --> 00:37:48,687 The direction is infinity. The speed, one year per second. 324 00:37:48,819 --> 00:37:52,417 The destination: the year 2030. 325 00:37:52,761 --> 00:37:55,247 Proceed, comrades! 326 00:38:09,133 --> 00:38:12,056 Subordinate Comrade Blockway! 327 00:38:12,773 --> 00:38:16,219 My question concerns a most important matter: 328 00:38:16,413 --> 00:38:21,342 The departure of myself, a senior official at the head of an entire 329 00:38:21,442 --> 00:38:26,724 agency, on a 100-year business trip. 330 00:38:27,012 --> 00:38:30,518 Rejected! Impractical! 331 00:38:30,653 --> 00:38:34,116 Anyway, who on Earth would take such a trip... 332 00:38:34,241 --> 00:38:37,188 knowing he needs a daily allowance for a hundred years, 333 00:38:37,289 --> 00:38:40,589 but will only be paid for seconds? 334 00:38:41,207 --> 00:38:46,395 Admissions are closed. Come back tomorrow. 335 00:38:50,833 --> 00:38:53,362 What admissions? What tomorrow? 336 00:38:53,533 --> 00:38:56,861 Ah, you've forgotten to take down that stupid sign. 337 00:38:56,987 --> 00:38:59,284 As a senior comrade, I must warn you: 338 00:38:59,385 --> 00:39:03,085 you're surrounded by people who aren't quite one-hundred percent. 339 00:39:03,187 --> 00:39:05,911 Cyclero smokes! 340 00:39:06,282 --> 00:39:08,689 Strangefellow must be drinking. 341 00:39:08,733 --> 00:39:12,068 Well, what business is it of yours? For all that, they work. 342 00:39:12,093 --> 00:39:16,122 I'm "for all that," too! But for all that, I don't drink, don't smoke, 343 00:39:16,147 --> 00:39:17,147 don't leave tips... 344 00:39:17,493 --> 00:39:19,005 So that's what you "don't, don't, don't." 345 00:39:19,106 --> 00:39:22,406 Is there anything that you "do, do, do"? 346 00:39:22,511 --> 00:39:24,245 "Do, do, do?" Sure I do! 347 00:39:24,373 --> 00:39:26,951 I implement directives, file resolutions, 348 00:39:27,026 --> 00:39:29,589 make connections, pay my Party membership dues, 349 00:39:29,664 --> 00:39:31,908 sign things, stamp things... 350 00:39:31,933 --> 00:39:37,250 Aseyev, begemot, dai v dolg, lik izbit, i stoimost snizilas mai pud chaseishen. 351 00:39:37,359 --> 00:39:39,889 Mr. Pont Kitsch says 352 00:39:39,990 --> 00:39:43,890 he can buy up all our clocks and watches at a reasonable price, 353 00:39:44,013 --> 00:39:46,641 and then he will believe in communism. 354 00:39:47,688 --> 00:39:50,268 That's obvious even without a translation. 355 00:39:50,293 --> 00:39:53,863 Comrades, don't be late! 356 00:39:54,376 --> 00:40:04,137 The first time-train leaves at 12 o'clock sharp for Year 2030 Station. 357 00:40:08,185 --> 00:40:15,681 Rise up and soar, o song of mine, as red troops swing along! 358 00:40:15,773 --> 00:40:23,304 Quicken your pace, dear land of mine. Old ways are dead and gone! 359 00:40:24,001 --> 00:40:27,837 March onward, time! March onward, time! 360 00:40:27,996 --> 00:40:30,244 O time, march on! 361 00:40:31,674 --> 00:40:39,350 Yet faster still, dear land of mine -- ahead lies the commune! 362 00:40:39,403 --> 00:40:47,039 Five years are planned for. Bonuses will cut them short by one! 363 00:40:47,492 --> 00:40:51,298 March onward, time! March onward, time! 364 00:40:51,333 --> 00:40:53,732 O time, march on! 365 00:40:55,134 --> 00:41:02,631 Make factories hum, dear land of mine, all day and all night long. 366 00:41:02,758 --> 00:41:10,528 Strike harder yet, commune of mine. Old evil ways begone! 367 00:41:10,968 --> 00:41:14,792 March onward, time! March onward, time! 368 00:41:14,898 --> 00:41:18,893 March onward, time! March onward, time! 369 00:41:20,665 --> 00:41:25,030 March onward, time! O time, march on! 370 00:41:25,137 --> 00:41:31,545 March on! March on! 371 00:41:33,470 --> 00:41:41,550 SECONDS UNTIL TIME MACHINE DEPARTS: 372 00:41:41,575 --> 00:41:46,236 Comrade Dvoikin, you can attach ordinary windshields. 373 00:41:46,479 --> 00:41:50,866 The Five-Year Plan has prepared you all for the tempo and speed of time travel. 374 00:41:51,522 --> 00:41:53,132 Test the springs. 375 00:41:53,507 --> 00:41:56,704 Make sure we don't bump about on the potholes of public holidays. 376 00:41:56,757 --> 00:42:01,685 We'll have a smooth passage, provided no empty vodka bottles get into the works. 377 00:42:05,435 --> 00:42:07,901 Well, no problem. There's plenty to drink. 378 00:42:08,285 --> 00:42:11,795 Comrade, I must ask you confidentially. Will there be a buffet? 379 00:42:11,820 --> 00:42:14,079 If not, we'll make do. 380 00:42:18,213 --> 00:42:20,146 Where's my spot? 381 00:43:06,782 --> 00:43:11,575 SECONDS UNTIL TIME MACHINE DEPARTS: 382 00:43:14,306 --> 00:43:17,106 Comrade, you've brought a whole department store with you. 383 00:43:17,176 --> 00:43:18,696 No comments, please! 384 00:43:19,253 --> 00:43:22,265 I could request an extra compartment, 385 00:43:22,493 --> 00:43:26,647 but I will refrain, in keeping with my modest lifestyle. 386 00:43:28,209 --> 00:43:30,845 Has the "all aboard" call gone out? You may give it! 387 00:43:30,946 --> 00:43:32,696 And the second one right after. 388 00:43:42,013 --> 00:43:44,563 Where is my monogrammed briefcase? 389 00:43:44,700 --> 00:43:45,871 Don't get worked up. 390 00:43:45,996 --> 00:43:49,123 I was tidying up at home and saw you'd forgotten this. Looked important. 391 00:43:49,248 --> 00:43:50,248 That's funny. 392 00:43:50,413 --> 00:43:56,032 Goodbye, Polya. When I'm settled, I'll send you a third of something! 393 00:43:57,579 --> 00:44:02,595 Comrades, we shall speed off, breaking through the antiquated barrier of time. 394 00:44:02,620 --> 00:44:09,099 The future will take anyone who has even one trait in common with the commune. 395 00:44:09,213 --> 00:44:14,919 The passion to work. The thirst to sacrifice. The boundless energy to invent. 396 00:44:15,613 --> 00:44:18,475 Comrade Strangefellow, are you ready? 397 00:44:18,697 --> 00:44:20,157 READY 398 00:48:52,195 --> 00:48:56,511 All of you, and the author! What have you been trying to say here? 399 00:48:56,636 --> 00:48:59,900 That people like me aren't of any use to communism? 400 00:49:09,433 --> 00:49:10,914 INSPECTED 401 00:49:26,260 --> 00:49:32,361 Written and directed by Sergey Yutkevich, Anatoliy Karanovich 402 00:49:32,386 --> 00:49:38,474 Camera: Mihail Kamenetskiy Art director: Feliks-Lev Zbarskiy 403 00:49:38,499 --> 00:49:44,162 Composer: Rodion Shchedrin Sound: Boris Filchikov 404 00:49:44,178 --> 00:49:48,693 Montage: Lidiya Kyaksht Assistant art director: Valentina Vasilenko 405 00:49:48,818 --> 00:49:52,649 Puppeteers: Vladimir Puzanov, Yuriy Klepatsky, Mariya Portnaya 406 00:49:52,750 --> 00:49:56,650 2D animator: Vyacheslav Kotyonochkin 407 00:49:56,757 --> 00:50:03,200 Text read by Yekaterina Raykina, Arkadiy Raykin 408 00:50:03,332 --> 00:50:09,017 Camera (2D animation): Nikolay Grinberg Camera (combined filming): Boris Aretskiy 409 00:50:09,142 --> 00:50:15,253 Assistant director: M. Rapoport Camera assistant: A. Shik Foley: Aleksandr Baranov 410 00:50:15,378 --> 00:50:20,046 Literary consultant: Vasiliy Katanyan Script editor: Boris Voronov 411 00:50:20,154 --> 00:50:22,097 Puppets and sets made under direction of Roman Gurov 412 00:50:22,198 --> 00:50:24,098 by Boris Karavayev, V. Kuranov, Oleg Masainov, 413 00:50:24,199 --> 00:50:26,099 V. Kalashnikova, V. Chernihova, Pavel Gusev, Vladimir Alisov, 414 00:50:26,200 --> 00:50:28,100 Vladimir Abbakumov, Pavel Lesin, Valeriy Petrov and Semyon Etlis 415 00:50:28,222 --> 00:50:32,260 Phosphorescent Woman based on the drawings of Picasso 416 00:50:32,377 --> 00:50:36,534 State Symphony Orchestra of Cinematography Emin Khachaturian (conductor), Arthur Eisen (soloist) 417 00:50:36,559 --> 00:50:38,659 Executive producer: Natan Bitman 418 00:50:42,122 --> 00:50:45,751 THE END 419 00:50:45,876 --> 00:50:47,025 Subtitled by Animation Obsessive, ed. Niffiwan (2023), using translations of Cook-Horujy, Guy Daniels, Cassiday, + subs by Chapaev & Eus (2016) & TignoBaiser (2019)